Save us all from those best men and father’s of the bride who see their speech as the one chance they will have in their lifetime to perform under the spotlight for hours.

You might have noticed something about life stories or biographies. They tend to be the biggest fattest most long winded books on the shelves. The outward signs are the reams of paper that the father of the bride is editing and flicking through. They might be the best man secreting a box of tricks, props and puppets under the wedding table in preparation. These people are missing a calling in their lives. They need taking out and trampling on. Now is the time to head for the bar.

The best wedding speeches are short, to the point, gentle, humorous, (You’ll already know if you are a born joke teller, and now is not the time to experiment), genuine, sincere and end with an affectionate toast to the couple. Anything else is a bore that will leave guest squirming in their seats straining their necks towards the exit.

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When the mother of the bride or indeed the bride herself decides to give a speech, its wonderful. Why not? What a pity then the mother in her beautiful suit, her fanciful hat wanting to say something precious about her daughter, spoke with such a hushed whisper that no one in the back third of the room could hear.

Brides, Mother’s of the Brides and all gentle speaking people of the world, please, please, please realise this wedding speech is one occasion when you must raise your voice.

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I was at a wedding in Drimoleague in the West of Ireland, when the groom stood up to make his wedding speech. He announced that he couldn’t do speeches, but he knew a good joke about a pig.

Personally I don’t care if it was the best pig joke in the world (it wasn’t), but there is a time and a place for jokes in speeches. I might respectfully suggest to all you potential grooms and best men out there, that telling a joke about a pig or anything at all really has no place whatsoever in your wedding speech.

If you really are stuck for inspiration you might start with the beautiful woman you are marrying. If you are still stuck I respectfully suggest you might want to reconsider your position.

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All writing, and speechwriting is no exception, starts in the same place, in your head. It’s just you and the blank page or screen. In the beginning as the good book says, was …….the word.

Where the words come from, where the source of the inspiration for that stirring speech originate, who knows. Say for instance that you have not decided to employ the talents of a speechwriter at Speech-writers.com. Where then do you start looking for that essential inspiration?

Writers are supposed to enjoy some kind of sanctuary. Is it better to be staring out across a vista of wonderful scenery or locked inside a white room with no windows? Do you need an attic room of your own or a cupboard under the stairs? Retire to the garden shed or find a quiet spot in the library?

The fact is the only place your speech is going to come from is inside you. In that head of yours. Don’t wait for inspiration, it never comes. Make your mark, start by saying something, anything. You can change it later.

What do you want to say? The more you write, the easier it gets and the better it will be. And if anyone should know, it should be us at www.speech-writers.com. We’ve being writing speeches for a lot longer than most and we haven’t run out of words yet…..

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You know the conversation starter. It’s the one struggling before the groan, ‘so what do you?’ Depending on how far I want to take it, I might just say, I work with computers. That’s a little misleading and I like to come across as a little more interesting. So I might and do say, I’m a writer. This is a mistake. The answer inevitably is, so what do you write?
Speeches, I say, I’m a speechwriter. There is normally a break at this point. How interesting, some say. Others say, I never imagined someone could make a living at writing speeches. A third group intrigued by the possibilities ask, so who do write speeches for?

Anyone I say, anyone with a speech to give: graduations, birthdays, eulogies, awards ceremonies, business proposals, conference speeches, motivational speeches, persuasive, informative, the list is endless: the job absorbing, challenging and entirely fascinating. I’ll stand up and give a speech on it one day.

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Ever since I worked one summer in an engineering workshop, I have had an anathema to Meatloaf. The trouble with the hit record - starting to date myself here - was that a large ‘don’t mess with me’ biker type welder had taped the title song ‘Bat out of Hell’ end to end. He played it non-stop loudly for the entire day. Every day.

Even now (alright, some thirty years later) the intro, the chorus the whole darn lot is etched somewhere permanently into my brain. There too is the track, ‘You took the words right out of my mouth’. But here, I have to say, Meatloaf had a point.

When it comes to getting ideas across in speeches, getting other people to think they came up with the idea in the first place wins every time. Hey, it works in marriages, works too when it comes to setting ground rules for sulky adolescents (Get them to suggest the guidelines). If people think it’s their idea, they are more responsible, more cooperative and more interested in the outcome.

That’s the bit when the audience is looking up at you, nodding with their eyes and ears firmly focused on you and what you are saying..

How you do it? Well I guess it’s a bit like flattery. Appeal to their better natures, talk up to them, and yes flatter them a little bit it you have to. Get them thinking how bright smart and intelligent they are. Just don’t let on that an overweight biker in a leather jacket told you so.

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‘There are nine million bicycles in Beijing’, Kate Melua sings rather beautifully. It’s a fact, a statistic, a figure. But you are listening. Whether is true or not (if I was the writer, I’d have checked this out by now), it has your attention. I mean, you want to know exactly where the song is going and how that fact ties in.

The attention getter is up and running. Speeches aren’t generally sung. Now that might add a totally new dimension to my job at www.speech-writers.com. They’re delivered by nervous people doing everything they can do to give the impression of being in control. So that attention getter is all the more important. Get that right and everyone wants to know where you are headed. They are listening. They might even be laughing (with you, of course)…..but then that is another story.

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