“I left because they were still giving speeches an hour later” so said the guest at the opening of a new sports pavilion. Speeches can add to an occasion or totally spoil it. A social occasion is not the time for lengthy speeches. A warm welcome, a few gracious words of thanks to those who have worked hard and a sincere good luck wish for the future is usually enough. Obviously if you can add in a few topical comments so much the better. Guests are there to enjoy themselves not as a captive audience.

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“Know your stuff” is probably the most important rule for a speech-writer. It is critically important that you check and re-check your facts and figures if you are giving a speech that relies on these. If you are giving a business speech of course you should know about the company and its products. So do your research and your speech will have that touch of authority that makes it worth using.

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Pride is an important ingredient when you are writing a reunion speech of any kind. You can have pride in the family, pride in the workforce or pride in the old school tie. It’s a sentiment we all understand and share. So go on appeal to their pride.

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Don’t pretend to be what you are not. If you are a middle aged writer and your audience is full of teens, it is tempting to try to use their language when writing a speech. You will have the same result as an elderly lady trying to wear the latest gear. It just doesn’t work.
So be yourself and say it your way. As long as your writing is clear and your topic appeals it will be understood by any generation.

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There are thousands of good causes and an equal number of appeals. So you should tell one story about how each member of your audience can personally make a difference to your one chosen charity. Involve them in what you are trying to do. Talk about the progress that is being made with their help. Urge them to continue helping. Then leave them with the feel good factor that comes from doing something for others.

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I am sometimes asked by best men for a speech that is randy or blue in tone. I invariably answer that a wedding is a family occasion and that a speech should not offend anyone or make them uncomfortable. Besides you can make people laugh without being rude or lewd. In fact if you have to be blue then you are already a failure as a public speaker.

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I thought I was hearing things when the guy said he was going to a fancy dress party dressed as Superman and he needed my help. I said I didn’t think saving the world was part of a speechwriter’s remit.. He explained that his hostess wanted all the guests to wear fancy costume and to give a short speech about Cleopatra or Napoleon or whoever he or she had chosen to be. I explained that I though someone like Napoleon would have a better story to tell but he insisted he wanted to be Superman. Furthermore he added “I think it would be better if I said a poem because nobody else will do that.” I had to rack my brains on this one but by comparing Superman’s dual personality with that of a guest dressed as Superman I was able to make a start on the poem. Instead of saving the planet his job this time was to save the guests from boredom. I made it an action poem. He was to stand on a table and there he could dispense with his glasses, point to his elegant tights and whirl his cloak. He ended by jumping from the chair and vanishing from sight to deal with yet another crisis,the gatecrashers who threatened to ruin the party. He scored ten out of ten for trying.

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It’s easy to talk about birthdays. Candles and cakes are generic but what about the person you are toasting? He or she is unique and your speech should be too. It should mention his/her traits and attributes, talk about his/her activities and generally make the party boy or girl feel very special indeed. In other words your speech should be a one off.

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She was a brilliant student but not a natural communicator. Being called upon to give the valedictorian speech at her graduation ceremony was a nightmare for her. “I can write down answers to tests” she said, “ But I simply don’t know what to say or how to say it”.

I asked her if she would have trouble speaking to her own friends about how she felt about graduating. She said “Oh no. I am delighted that the studying is over and at long last I am going to practise medicine. We have discussed this day late into the night, never believing it would really happen”. Who had helped her most? I asked. “Oh my parents have been wonderful she said. They didn’t have much money but they worked very hard to help me and my tutors were always there when I needed them…”. “Did you like the college?” I pressed her. “Yes, I made so many friends there and I will miss them but I intend to keep in touch”. “Had she any special memories?” I pressed. She smiled and remembered the first day she had been in theatre. She was afraid she was going to faint.

“Well you have almost written your own speech” I told her. “It’s all about what college has meant for you and for your fellow students. Your speech should mention those who helped you and, of course, the friends you made and the experiences you had here. It should also speak about the opportunities you all have in the future”. You forgot one thing though. “What is tha?” she asked. “I think perhaps you should end with a good luck wish to your fellow students”, I suggested. She smiled and said “It’s really just like speaking to my family and friends, isn’t it?”. “That’s it”, I said. “No wonder you are the valedictioran”.

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“I have no trouble public speaking” he said. “In fact I could talk for hours.” The question is would anyone want to listen to him? There are, of course, excellent orators who can hold an audience in the palms of their hands. Most of them, though, are too modest to boast about it. Those who claim they can speak for hours often just like the sound of themselves. They judge a speech on length rather than content. Usually they are just plain boring.

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