The rally driver was thrilled to have his race but afraid that he would have to say a few words when presented with his prize. “I drive cars, I don’t make speeches” was his comment. I suggested that he began by saying the award was really a team award and to dedicate it to his crew and what they do for him. He should mention too how much it meant to him to be a winner. I mentioned the fact that there was a bad crash during the race and that he should wish his fellow rally driver well in hospital. I suggested he ended by saying that his speeches were over as fast as his races.

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This week I was unexpectedly presented with a sporting award and asked to give a speech. This brings to mind the problems of speaking off the cuff. Unless you are a very accomplished speaker it is wiser to keep it simple and simply say, Thank you I am honoured to be given this award. I shall treasure it.”

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Give credit in speeches, where it’s due. That’s right, I owe a lot of people. In fact the list is ‘this’ long. How am I going to fit it into this acceptance speech? I’ll do it alphabetically. Perhaps chronologically would be better. We’ll all be here till doomsday or at least until I have lost your attention and sympathy. But I have do it, otherwise I’ll be causing offence. Ok, I might just say ‘to those of you I haven’t already had a chance to thank personally’. Or what about, ‘to everyone who has helped me’? Or ‘for everyone who has worked so hard, inpsired me and encouraged me, I thank you all’. You could dedicate the award to them, or why not give them the award altogther?

Now, that’s going too far.

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