Has it ever occurred to you that you should censor your own speech? If, for instance you are the father of the bride, it behoves you to say nice things about your daughter. You might, jokingly refer to the fact that, like all fathers of teenagers, you had concerns about the length of her skirt. You should not broadcast the fact, though, that she was expelled form school for selling drugs. The same applies if you are the father of the groom. You might hate the girl your son has chosen but if you cannot find anything good to say about your new daughter–in-law you would be wiser not to speak at all.
Your speech should express your thoughts, of course, but always remember what is said cannot be unsaid. There is no point in upsetting people or making them squirm. A best man should be particularly careful because he may know stories about the groom that the groom would not care for his bride, or his parents to know. In this case discretion is definitely the better part of valour because if he tells that funny story and the bride doesn’t like it he may find that he has lost a friend or that he ends up, courtesy of the groom, with a black eye!
Your speech can be witty but it should never be hurtful and you should never make snide remarks. A good speaker is always gracious especially on social occasions. There are occasions when you speech should be hard hitting but not at a wedding. For the sake of happy ever after check what you intend saying before you say it.

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Have you ever thought about friendship and what it means in our lives? Children usually come home from their first day at school to tell their mother they have made new friend. They play with these  friends, fall out with them too and then make it up again.
For many of us our friendships go back to those long ago schooldays.
Later in life we make friends in sports clubs, at university or at work. Maybe we become friends with our neighbours. Isn’t it nice to pay tribute to those friendships at the important times in our friends’lives?  Maybe it’s your best female friend’s birthday for instance.  So why not give a little speech about what she means to you and wish her well? It could be that you are asked to be best man at your friend’s wedding. Wouldn’t it be a pleasure to toast the happy couple? If you lose a friend isn’t it good to be able to share your memories in a eulogy to a friend.
Good friends are listeners when you need them. . They are happy to share in your good news. They give you sympathy and understanding when times are bad and encouragement when you are discouraged. No matter how far away he or she may live a good friend is always at the other end of the phone.
You should work at your friendships because they are precious things. They are about giving as well as taking. A good friend is appreciative. Such a friend lifts you up when you are blue and will talk halfway through the night with you. They make your world a better place. Friends – make them and keep them.

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Being a best man may be a privilege but it can also be nerve-wracking. After all sharing in the groom’s bachelor adventures does not qualify you as an M.C.
The best man is, you see, the M.C. at most weddings. Besides remembering the ring and ensuring the groom is on time he also has to see the big day runs smoothly. Added to that he is expected to give a warm and witty speech that is also sincere.
So he needs to do his homework. He needs a best man’s plan that helps him ensure that there are no hitches to mar the big day. He has to arrange transport, ensure the guests are all happy and make sure the couple make their honeymoon getaway safely. Naturally too he will look after the bridesmaids and respond to the groom’s toast to them. Above all his speech should reflect well on the groom, compliment the bride and make all the guests feel an essential part of the big occasion.
The secret then, if you want to be a superb best man, is to adapt the scouting motto of “Be prepared” and ensure that the day goes according to plan.

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Choosing a wedding gift can be difficult. Many couples choose to have a bridal registry with a big store which can, of course, ensure that you buy something they actually want.
If you have been asked to speak at the wedding, though, you can ensure that your gift of speech is very personal and will be treasured for life.
If you are the best much you will know about the groom but may not know much about his bride. So if you want your speech to be special the first thing to do is to do your homework. Naturally you will discover any story about the courtship but you must do more. Speak to the bride’s mother, sister or best friend and find out what she loves and hates. Ask for treasured memories of childhood. Speak to the groom’s people too and find out childhood stories and fantasies. Did they have invisible friends? Do they love The Beatles?  Did they have a teddy bear that went everywhere with them? Find out about their secret dreams and wishes and give a brilliant best man’s speech by painting a picture of the groom who ran away from home when he was five, insisted on eating beans at every meal and helps out at the local homeless shelter. Speak about his kindness and his wonderful sense of humour. Speak too about his parents and his family life. In other words know your subject and his bride.
Whether you are speaking as a father of the bride or as the mother of the groom ensure that your speech is personal and loving and shows the couple in a wonderful light. They will love you for it and they will remember your speech when the flowers are dead and the cake well eaten.

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Most of us love our parents but how many of us express that love? Yet your father’s birthday, your step-mother’s birthday or your mother’s retirement are ideal days on which to say a few loving words. In fact any family occasion such as a family re-union gives you an opportunity to express your feelings for them. Weddings, of course, being the sentimental occasions they are, are the ideal time to thank them for all they have done for you. So whether you are the groom or the bride make it their big day too by expressing how much they mean to you. This also applies of course if you are the best man who is son of the groom or indeed the son of the bride. Finally, if you have not told them you love them before they die a thoughtful eulogy for mother or appreciative eulogy for father will be a fitting tribute to well loved parents.

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Weddings are usually traditional affairs and so are the speeches. Nonetheless, sometimes there is a need for a different kind of speech because someone is playing a different role. The best man, for instance, instead of being a brother or friend might be the father of the groom or even the son of the groom. Alternatively, the role of best man might become best buddy because the groom has chosen to be supported on his big day by a woman. Obviously then while the traditional best wishes will be expressed the speeches will also reflect the relationship between the best man/buddy and the groom.

If the father is speaking he will speak from his experience of life and his knowledge of his son’s growing years. If a woman is speaking she will speak of her happy friendship with the groom but from a woman’s viewpoint. If a son is speaking at his father’s wedding he will probably see the groom as someone who has reared and inspired him during his youth. So whatever the difference it has to be reflected in the speeches. So play your part and ensure that the speech you give expresses the real you, whatever your role…

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A best man is usually a brother or a good friend of the groom. His speech and toast at the wedding should reflect his close relationship. It is permissible, indeed desirable, for the speech to include jokes and anecdotes but they must be in good taste. It is never, never suitable to embarrass anyone present by saying anything blue or tasteless. The best man usually doubles as Master of Ceremonies on the wedding day so his comments must be polished and polite and light-hearted. He should be complimentary to the hosts, the guests, the couple and to the bridesmaids. After all it is his duty to respond to the groom’s toast to them. His speech needn’t be long but if he is toasting the couple at the end then it would be preferable if he ended his speech with an unusual toast rather than use the usual “Let us raise our glasses in a toast to the bride and groom”. He might write his own toast or search for an unusual one. The Irish are renowned for their writing and their toasts so the best man might find one of theirs suitable for his needs. Above all he should see that the wedding day goes off smoothly for the happy couple. Saying the right things at the right time, including his speech, is one of the best ways to ensure that.

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We had in the meantime started attending wedding fairs and the feedback was astonishing. We found people either wanted something completely personal or they simply wanted to say the right thing. That is common to all speeches because no matter what the occasion happens to be there are always some things that need to be said. The father of the bride, for instance, will always welcome the guests. The best man should always say how wonderfully suitable the bride is for his brother or his friend. So as our range of speeches grew we offered a personalised service and an off-the-shelf one. The off-the-shelf service gave three or five different speeches that could be mixed and matched, thus giving the speaker options on how to welcome guests or praise the bride.

You can never tell though how people will take what you say. We used Mary and John as example names in all our speeches. One client complained that the ready-to-go speech she bought off the shelf wasn’t about her sister Frances. Another couple were enchanted that, as they thought, we had written especially about them. How, they asked us, did we know their names were Mary and John?

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My neighbour John has been invited to be best man at a wedding. “What will I say?” he asked worriedly. “The groom is my best friend but I don’t know what to say. His mother and father are ok I know them years, but I’ve never even met the bride’s parents and her uncle is coming home from Australia. Should I mention him? The speech is supposed to be funny but I’d better not mention our escapades over the years. After all my own wife will be there and she certainly wouldn’t appreciate hearing about our holidays in the sun”. John’s worries are typical of many best men. They want to make a good impression but they don’t know what to say. The answer is not to try to be funny because John is not a comedian and doesn’t have the training or the timing. Instead his speech should be light-hearted speaking only of the good times they had together or mentioning incidents like when they lost their luggage or got on the train going to Paris instead of to Cannes. . too. He should do his research and find out something about the bride and her parents so that all the important guests are included. He should, check whether the bride wants her uncle’s long journey mentioned. A good speech is about preparation.

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