There is a long run up to most weddings. It begins with organising an engagement party, followed by the bridal shower and the bachelor or stag party. In between times there are venues to be selected, dresses to choose and cakes to be baked. Most people organise these things well in advance except for one thing that is often left to the last moment and that is the writing of the wedding speeches. Whether you need a speech for a wedding rehearsal dinner or the actual wedding day you should remember to write it early so that you can practise it before the big occasion. That applies whether you are one of the wedding party such as best man or father of the bride or whether you are a family friend who wishes to toast the parents of the bride or groom. Take, for example, Christmas weddings. It’s only about two months to Christmas and a Christmas wedding is particularly special and deserves a suitably festive speech. So make sure your speech is particularly relevant to that wonderful season. You can do that by, for instance, making a reference to Santa or to the mistletoe. Whether your daughter or son is getting married, whether you are the best man or even the groom, make sure your speech is seasonal.

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Being a best man can be nerve wracking especially if you are nervous about giving a speech. Yet there are plenty of other best men who can give you advice. It is much more difficult when you are acting in a different situation. Take, for instance, being a best man who is the son of the groom. What should you say and how do you say it? Obviously you will know the groom very well so you can tell a few tales about him as long as they are suitable for mixed company. Unless he is marrying your mother it is not a time to mention her as a new bride will feel that it is her day and mentions of another woman will not go down well. It is a day to wish him well and to say how glad you are that he is so happy. If you are the best man who is the father of the groom you will, of course speak as a father rather than a brother or friend either of whom would normally take that role. So in your speech you will speak of your pride in your son and in the fact that he has asked you to be his best man. That obviously speaks of a very close bond between you. If you are a woman/best buddy rather than a male friend you will naturally take a different approach. Your relationship with the groom may go back to childhood. Whether it does or not the fact that he has asked you to be at his side on his big day speaks a lot about your relationship. You may also have a more than usually close relationship with the bride. Either way your speech will speak of the talents and personality of the groom and of how much he means to you. Whatever your connection with the groom your speech, traditionally, should end with the reply to his toast to the bridesmaids.

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Save us all from those best men and father’s of the bride who see their speech as the one chance they will have in their lifetime to perform under the spotlight for hours.
You might have noticed something about life stories or biographies. They tend to be the biggest fattest most long winded books on the shelves. The outward signs are the reams of paper that the father of the bride is editing and flicking through. They might be the best man secreting a box of tricks, props and puppets under the wedding table in preparation. These people are missing a calling in their lives. They need taking out and trampling on. Now is the time to head for the bar.
The best wedding speeches are short, to the point, gentle, humorous, (You’ll already know if you are a born joke teller, and now is not the time to experiment), genuine, sincere and end with an affectionate toast to the couple. Anything else is a bore that will leave guest squirming in their seats straining their necks towards the exit.

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Interracial marriages are reported to be increasing in number. That’s hardly surprising when we live in such a mobile society. Easier travel makes holiday romances a distinct possibility. Then too the fact that there is so much unemployment means that people often move countries in search of a job. The result is more couples from different cultures, and perhaps faiths, are meeting and marrying and that really puts it up to the best man when he is writing a speech for such a wedding. There may, for instance, be resistance to the marriage from one family or even both. His speech then has to be positive and powerful speaking of the wonderful benefits of two cultures blending. The best man’s interracial speech has to convey the message that both sides of the marriage gain from each other. He has to do his homework on what attributes both sides bring with them. He has to be able to convince his audience, in fact, that an interracial marriage is twice as good.

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A best man isn’t the only one to speak at a wedding. Traditionally the father of the bride toasts the happy couple and sometimes the father of the groom like to say a few words about his wonderful son and his new wife. There are, of course, all sorts of variations on the wedding theme…
The father of the bride’s speech may have to allow for the fact that his daughter is co-habiting for years and perhaps has a child. The son of the groom maybe acting as best man or the widowed mother of the bride may want to speak instead of her husband. The brother of the bride may be acting on behalf of his father for the day or indeed a family friend or a peer of the groom may want to say a few words. Nowadays too librated brides and bridesmaids may want to have their say.
No matter who is speaking a wedding is a very important occasion and the speaker should speak with sincerity and a touch of humour as befits a social event. Whatever is said the words should be as memorable as the wedding day itself.

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Best men aren’t all the same. The speeches they give on the wedding day should reflect this fact. Generally speaking the best man will be the brother or friend of the groom. However there are many others who may have to give that all important speech and who may be approaching the subject from a different angle. There is the best man who is the colleague of the groom. His speech will be different to that of a brother or friend who has known the groom for years. He will speak of the groom from the perspective of someone who knows him in his working life. The best man speeches where the groom is a lawyer may have legal terms in them. Nowadays too because of re-marriages the duties may be carried out by a best man who is the son of the groom.  Obviously he should be able to tell a few stories about the groom in his capacity as a parent.
Today too many grooms will choose a female best buddy instead of the equivalent male best man. As every man knows women see things differently and certainly her speech will reflect a different aspect of the groom than one given by a man. Military weddings can have a touch of pomp and ceremony and best man’s speeches for an army wedding will again be slightly different the best man will be speaking about a groom who is imbued with the spirit of loyalty and service to his country. There are thousands of weddings every year and lots of reasons why the speeches should be different. Make sure yours reflects your exact connection with the groom.

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What makes a wedding really special? Those concerned often spend months organising everything from the dress to the flowers to the photographer. They will agonise over the guest list and worry about the band they choose to play at the reception. All these things are important, of course, but they rarely consider that the wedding speeches are equally important. The father of the bride or the father of the groom may wonder what he should say but certainly the speeches will be way down the list of important wedding “To do’s”. Yet the words of the best man or the mother of the bride can make an impact on the guests and leave the bride and groom with lovely memories. Everyone cannot write a touching speech, of course, but just as there are professional videographers there are also professional speechwriters. So if you cannot find the words to express your feelings let an expert do it for you. Nobody else will know and your son or your daughter will be delighted that you have gone to so much trouble to say what’s in your heart.

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Has it ever occurred to you that you should censor your own speech? If, for instance you are the father of the bride, it behoves you to say nice things about your daughter. You might, jokingly refer to the fact that, like all fathers of teenagers, you had concerns about the length of her skirt. You should not broadcast the fact, though, that she was expelled form school for selling drugs. The same applies if you are the father of the groom. You might hate the girl your son has chosen but if you cannot find anything good to say about your new daughter–in-law you would be wiser not to speak at all.
Your speech should express your thoughts, of course, but always remember what is said cannot be unsaid. There is no point in upsetting people or making them squirm. A best man should be particularly careful because he may know stories about the groom that the groom would not care for his bride, or his parents to know. In this case discretion is definitely the better part of valour because if he tells that funny story and the bride doesn’t like it he may find that he has lost a friend or that he ends up, courtesy of the groom, with a black eye!
Your speech can be witty but it should never be hurtful and you should never make snide remarks. A good speaker is always gracious especially on social occasions. There are occasions when you speech should be hard hitting but not at a wedding. For the sake of happy ever after check what you intend saying before you say it.

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Have you ever thought about friendship and what it means in our lives? Children usually come home from their first day at school to tell their mother they have made new friend. They play with these  friends, fall out with them too and then make it up again.
For many of us our friendships go back to those long ago schooldays.
Later in life we make friends in sports clubs, at university or at work. Maybe we become friends with our neighbours. Isn’t it nice to pay tribute to those friendships at the important times in our friends’lives?  Maybe it’s your best female friend’s birthday for instance.  So why not give a little speech about what she means to you and wish her well? It could be that you are asked to be best man at your friend’s wedding. Wouldn’t it be a pleasure to toast the happy couple? If you lose a friend isn’t it good to be able to share your memories in a eulogy to a friend.
Good friends are listeners when you need them. . They are happy to share in your good news. They give you sympathy and understanding when times are bad and encouragement when you are discouraged. No matter how far away he or she may live a good friend is always at the other end of the phone.
You should work at your friendships because they are precious things. They are about giving as well as taking. A good friend is appreciative. Such a friend lifts you up when you are blue and will talk halfway through the night with you. They make your world a better place. Friends – make them and keep them.

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Being a best man may be a privilege but it can also be nerve-wracking. After all sharing in the groom’s bachelor adventures does not qualify you as an M.C.
The best man is, you see, the M.C. at most weddings. Besides remembering the ring and ensuring the groom is on time he also has to see the big day runs smoothly. Added to that he is expected to give a warm and witty speech that is also sincere.
So he needs to do his homework. He needs a best man’s plan that helps him ensure that there are no hitches to mar the big day. He has to arrange transport, ensure the guests are all happy and make sure the couple make their honeymoon getaway safely. Naturally too he will look after the bridesmaids and respond to the groom’s toast to them. Above all his speech should reflect well on the groom, compliment the bride and make all the guests feel an essential part of the big occasion.
The secret then, if you want to be a superb best man, is to adapt the scouting motto of “Be prepared” and ensure that the day goes according to plan.

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