The computer world is mourning the loss of Steve Jobs. He was, after all, unique, a real visionary. There will undoubtedly be many eulogies given about him. People will speak of his creativity and the jobs he provided worldwide. Yet every single person is unique too and each one deserves a eulogy about what he or she has done in his or her own sphere. A woman might have created a warm and loving home. A man may have worked hard and provided jobs too although maybe not on the scale of Steve Jobs. The deceased may have been an aunt, an uncle or a brother-in-law. Whoever or whatever he or she was they too deserve to be remembered. Each one of us has a part to play in life and most of us do our best, sometimes against the odds. Sometimes though we neglect to say publicly just what that person has achieved or what he or she meant in his or her own world. A eulogy is a fitting tribute, the last goodbye as it were. Make sure your own unique someone’s life is celebrated for its own achievements. Give that eulogy it’s only right.

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When a friend dies that friendship should be commemorated. Giving a eulogy for your friend does just that. It commemorates what he meant to you and the relationship you had with him. It says how important friendship is in our lives. It brings him to life for the mourners present when you tell of incidents shared and experiences you had with him. By giving such a eulogy you are emphasising what he meant in your life and in the life of others. You emphasise his good points only because you never speak ill of the dead. That is not to say, though, that you cannot speak of his foibles or the things that made him human. Laughter is not wrong when it is kindly laughter and at a time of mourning it is an escape valve for all those sad feelings. So give a eulogy. You’ll be glad you did.

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How do you describe the loss of a child? Bowed down with grief most parents find it hard to find words to describe how they feel. Yet giving a eulogy for a boy or a girl is a very fitting way to say your goodbye. In it you can express all your heartache and your sorrow. You can say how much the child meant in your life. You can pay tribute to that child and his or her importance in the family. You can mention his or her personality and traits. . A eulogy can tell of his or her favourite games or toys. You can thank those who have comforted you and shared this difficult time with you. Above all you will be paying a public tribute to your child before it is too late

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Even if you have to choke back the tears it’s worth giving a eulogy for your father. After all you only have one father and one chance to pay tribute to him. It’s your final opportunity to say just how much he has meant in your life. It’s a chance to recall the games he played with you when you were young. It’s a time to remember how much support he always gave to you as you grew up. It’s a time to thank those who have supported you in your grief. Most importantly it’s a day when you should bring him to life publicly one last time. You do that by describing his personality and his traits. So express your grief and your sorrow but speak of the good times too. In other words tell everyone what a marvellous dad he was and how much you have learnt from him. Then wish him peace.

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Funerals can be religious or secular. They can be held in Westminster Abbey or a small country church. They can be formal or informal. Whatever about the differences most funerals mean the loss of someone who meant something to others. It could be the death of a baby daughter or the death of a much loved mother. It could be an army funeral with flags and the last post or maybe a body being thrown overboard at sea. No matter whose funeral it is or how it is organised giving a eulogy is fitting because everyone deserves to be publicly mourned. Everyone deserves to have their life’s achievements mentioned. Everyone deserves to be remembered in loving words. So whether you have lost a brother-in-law, an aunt or your 100 year old grandmother say what she meant to you and to the family. Don’t let them go without the dignity of a last farewell.

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Most of us value our friends although we may not express our appreciation of them publicly. Yet what better way to show what they mean in our lives than by telling others how important they are to us? You might, for instance, take a friend’s 50th birthday party as the ideal opportunity to say how much he or she means in your life. What about a wedding anniversary? Your toast to the couple could express how much you value them as friends. The same applies on a wedding day of course. You might express your good wishes as a friend of the family or as a friend of the bride or groom. If a friend is retiring a good friend should wish him or her well in that retirement and express the hope that their friendship with you will continue. Graduation time is yet another time when we can express our feelings for our friends. Giving a eulogy for a friend is probably the last act of friendship you can make. Whatever the occasion take the opportunity to talk about friendship and how important it is. Friends, make them and keep them by letting them and everyone else know just how important they are to you.

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Visiting heads of state often lay a wreath at the grave of the unknown warrior. That is followed by a moment’s silence. What would they say though if they had to give a eulogy at an army funeral? They would probably have an army of civil servants to write their speech. How does a fellow officer or a commanding officer pay tribute to a member of the armed forces who has just died? What do you say if he or she had been killed in the line of duty? Funerals are always emotional events and if you add flags and gun salutes and the slow march to the equation there is no doubt that finding the right words can be very difficult. One word that should come up in every eulogy is duty. Soldiers, however they die, are known for doing their duty. The eulogy should honour the commitment of the deceased soldier to serving his or her country. There should also be mention of the camaraderie of the forces and bravery and courage are another two words that should feature in a well prepared eulogy. Above all though the eulogy is intended to give comfort to those who are mourning so speaking of the high esteem in which the deceased was held will give a feeling of pride to the relatives.  When all the pomp and ceremony is over they should be able to savour your words in their hearts.

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Comedians love telling mother-in-law jokes. For many people though a mother-in-law is a firm favourite in the family. She is often the best loved grandmother in the world and a wonderful babysitter. What a pity then that we don’t express our loving feelings about mothers-in-law publicly more often? In fact why don’t we praise the relationship we have with our in-laws generally? A father-in-law can be a great source of support while brothers or sisters-in laws are often marvellous friends. Birthdays give you the ideal opportunity to say how much they mean to you. So why not say a few words of appreciation at your father-in-law’s 70th birthday or your sister-in-law’s 50th. Wish your brother-in-law well on his 40th birthday and tell all the guests what a special mother-in-law she is when you are celebrating her 80th birthday. If your children are old enough why don’t you get them to say a few words about Gran or granddad? It will mean such a lot to them. Funerals provide you with your last opportunity to say how much a certain in-law has meant in your life. So whether it’s your brother-in-law or your father-in- law who has died use this last opportunity to express your gratitude for knowing that person and having their friendship. Such appreciation of his or her family member will make your spouse very happy too!

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It’s probably one of the most fraught situations for any of us. Somebody has died and you are asked to give a eulogy. Even more worrying is the fact that you are not a family member so we don’t know the deceased as well as others do. You may be a friend of the deceased or perhaps a colleague. You might be a comrade in the armed forces. Whatever the connection you are expected to pay tribute to the person who has died. That’s basically it. You should pay your respects to the deceased by what you say. Ask yourself why you have been asked to speak. Is it because you share a hobby with the deceased or that you worked with him/ her? If so you should speak about the person you knew through whatever the connection was. You might say you found the deceased to be great company, extremely generous or very thoughtful. You could say your shared interest led to many fascinating discussions or that the deceased had shared his/her encyclopaedic knowledge of the subject with you. You could say that as a workmate you found that he was always helpful and always cheerful. Do a little probing. Ask around the office or around the club about what others knew about him/her. If possible use a story to demonstrate what sort of a person he/she was. End by saying the deceased left you with many happy memories. Depending on whether or not the deceased had any religious beliefs you might wish him/her a welcome to the Heaven in which he/she believed. Either way you can always say at the end of your eulogy, “May he/she rest in peace.”

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When a mother dies a home often becomes just a house. The heart of that home is gone and she leaves an empty place behind. How to describe that empty place is the challenge to anyone who is eulogising their mother. Mothers come in different packages of course. Some are fun loving and outgoing while others are shy and retiring. Some work outside the home while some stay at home. It’s easy enough to describe such things but that is only giving the bones of the eulogy for a mother. It has to be fleshed out with descriptions of her abilities and hobbies. Her relationship with you and with others should be described. You should find the words to describe her influence on you. Every single one of us makes our mark on society in some way. Mothers, especially, leave their mark. It may be that she has cared for her grandchildren or been a pillar of the church. It could be that she was a community activist and helped make great improvements in her local community. She may have been a wonderful neighbour or a stalwart friend. She was probably all those things and more and your eulogy should say that. It should say how much she will be missed and how end with a comment on her belief in the afterlife if that is appropriate. Alternatively, you might end your eulogy with an appropriate poem or saying. Whatever you say it should bring your mother to life and ensure that she will be remembered for all she was.

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