A Bar Mitzvah day is a day for making memories. It’s a day for a family gathering and it’s a day for tradition. Whatever form the celebration takes it is a day most men will remember for the rest of their lives. The mother of the bar mitzvah boy will usually excel herself in arranging the occasion whether it is a party held at home or in a hotel or club. The father of the boy in question will usually give a short speech about his son and what he means to the family. He will mention some childhood escapades and speak of his pride in his son’s abilities perhaps as a student or on the football field. Hopefully too he will say something that is so inspirational that the boy will remember it for life. It may be something as simple as exhorting his son to have good manners all through life. It may be to encourage him to join a charitable group or body who do good for others. He might mention the opportunities that lie ahead not to mention the challenges. Whatever he chooses to say he should make it short and sweet and end by toasting his son and reminding him that some day he too may have to find something inspirational to his own son.

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Weddings are a time for family re-unions. Of course people get together at the wedding rehearsal dinner and on the wedding day itself. There are often, however, gatherings that are strictly limited to either the bride or the groom’s family. Whatever about wedding speeches and even wedding rehearsal speeches a family re-union is certainly a time for saying a few words. Such a speech should be about togetherness and family unity. It should speak of differences and distances yet speak too of closeness and the clique that is the family. In an age where families are often separated by miles and seas it is about getting together and celebrating the fact that you are still one family. The speech should mention family jokes and the incidents that bind them. It should mention the warmth that exists despite different lifestyles in different places. In fact in an age where family gets a bad press it is an opportunity to speak up for it and to say “We are in this together. We are family. ”

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Graduation speeches don’t have to be given by Deans or important guest speakers. What is said does not have to be suitable for a whole group of graduates either. A parent, a friend or a relative can give a graduation speech if the family has a graduation party to celebrate the important occasion. Celebrate is the right word t use in this context. When a student has worked hard for a number of years and has done well in their examinations then it is surely a cause for celebration. In fact it may be the last such family occasion until his or her wedding day. So if John has become a doctor or Mary a nurse everyone in their circle is happy for them and will welcome the opportunity to celebrate with them. It can be a barbeque in the yard or a sit down meal in the Ritz it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that someone who loves that graduate says a few words wishing them well in their future lives and careers. So go on tell them how proud you are and give them a memory to cherish for the rest of their days.

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Independence Day is about meetings and greetings. It’s about cousins kissing and grandmothers hugging. It’s about family re-unions and all that they mean in our lives. On that day relatives will catch up on the family news. They will talk about who is doing what at college and ask what age the baby is now. They will listen sympathetically to sad stories and make plans for the future. It’s a day for fun and laughter and often for sharing a meal. It may be a family lunch or a formal dinner. Quite often is a barbeque in the yard. Yet whatever form the meal takes it is a time for family gossip and lots of chat. Independence Day may be about a special date in history but it is also a very important date in the family calendar. So whenever the clan gathers toast it.

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There is no parent who does not feel a lump in their throat when their child makes his or her First Holy Communion. They capture much of it on video or film of course. Nothing can, however, capture the sheer innocence and purity of the children. Many families celebrate the occasion by having a party, bringing together family and friends for the day. It adds greatly to the occasion if a parent, or perhaps God parent, speaks about the significance of the day. In such a speech they can express their love for the child and their pride in him or in her. What every speaker will say will be different of course but such a speech should contain some reference to the real meaning of the celebration. Many of us remember our own First Holy Communions as special days that stand out from the rest. So give a simple speech that the child can understand. In it express your love and pride for him or her and your hopes for the future. You will be giving a memory to cherish for life.

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Comedians love telling mother-in-law jokes. For many people though a mother-in-law is a firm favourite in the family. She is often the best loved grandmother in the world and a wonderful babysitter. What a pity then that we don’t express our loving feelings about mothers-in-law publicly more often? In fact why don’t we praise the relationship we have with our in-laws generally? A father-in-law can be a great source of support while brothers or sisters-in laws are often marvellous friends. Birthdays give you the ideal opportunity to say how much they mean to you. So why not say a few words of appreciation at your father-in-law’s 70th birthday or your sister-in-law’s 50th. Wish your brother-in-law well on his 40th birthday and tell all the guests what a special mother-in-law she is when you are celebrating her 80th birthday. If your children are old enough why don’t you get them to say a few words about Gran or granddad? It will mean such a lot to them. Funerals provide you with your last opportunity to say how much a certain in-law has meant in your life. So whether it’s your brother-in-law or your father-in- law who has died use this last opportunity to express your gratitude for knowing that person and having their friendship. Such appreciation of his or her family member will make your spouse very happy too!

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Prince William and Kate Middleton aren’t the only ones getting married. All over the world couples are preparing for their wedding day and all over the world there are best men and fathers of the brides sweating worrying about what they will say in their speeches… Whether they are in Alaska or China the sentiments should be the same. After all a wedding for a father is about love and the best man is usually talking about his friendship with the groom. So the speech should be filled with warmth and affection plus a touch of humour. It is worth remembering too that if you are speaking at a second wedding that you have to be more careful about what you say. You shouldn’t mention the previous wedding unless with the permission of the couple. Mothers of the bride and groom sometimes speak but their speeches too will be about love. Sons of the groom sometimes act as best men and fathers sometimes act as best men for their sons. Girls sometimes act as best buddy and bridesmaids, or sometimes friends of the couple, also want to have their say. Whatever the relationship, wherever the wedding the speeches should be short and convey your sincere best wishes for the happiness of the couple in question.

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Kindergarten graduations are the start of something great. Every child who graduates is, you see, full of promise. They are what make life worthwhile. Their smiling faces and their happy games are a declaration that the world is a good place. Not for them the highly competitive exam system. Not for them worries about careers or the future. They simply live for the present and just enjoy the moment. In fact they could teach adults a lesson or two in their enjoyment of life. Parents have every reason to be proud of these children on this their first graduation day. It is the first fairy footstep on the road of life. If only we could ensure that they retain their childlike innocence wouldn’t they make the world a better place than the cynical place it is? When a teacher is speaking on their graduation day he or she should speak about how much adults gain from being with such children. He or she should speak of their individual skills and abilities and what they can achieve even at such a young age. He or she should speak too about how parents can help develop such skills. Above all though the speaker should remind parents of the gift they have been given in their child.

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The father of the groom sometimes feels like a second class citizen. He doesn’t have to give the bride away. He doesn’t have to toast the couple. Traditionally, but of course this depends on the couple’s financial circumstances, he is not even the host at the wedding. Yet without his son there would be no wedding. So surely it is appropriate that he too expresses his feelings in a speech? What he says will, of course, be dependent on his relationship with the groom. Many men would be uncomfortable with a father who tells his son, publicly at least, that he loves him. That is not to say though that he cannot show his love by what he says. He might speak of his pride in his son’s academic or business successes in life. He might concentrate on speaking about his son’s kindness and generosity. He could choose to talk about the groom’s sense of humour or he could tease him by saying that as a footballer he should play left outside. On a more serious note he should certainly applaud his good taste in choosing such a wonderful bride. He ought to welcome her and her family into his. Above all, though, his speech should summarise the fact that a wedding is about a couple, a bride AND a groom.

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Wedding speeches can sometimes make or break the day. A good speech will be the cause of animated conversation and loving words will be remembered over the years. A bad speech will cause negative vibrations and even hurt feelings. Quite simply a bad speech can ruin the day. This is true of any wedding. A Christmas wedding, however, calls for even more thought. The speechwriter must bring the spirit of Christmas into his speech. It should reflect the warmth and joy of the season. A couple who choose a Christmas wedding do so for a special reason. A good speaker will discover what that reason happens to be and mention it in his speech. Often it is because it is the couple’s favourite time of the year. The speaker might then compare marriage with the season of loving and giving. That is not to say that a Christmas wedding speech should not be traditional. After all the best man should always mention, usually humorously, his connection with the groom. The father of the bride will end his speech with a toast to the happy couple. Perhaps, though, the speechwriter will include a reference to Santa or the Christmas tree or, appropriately of course, the mistletoe. It is always an added plus to have a topical mention in a speech. So if you are speaking at a Christmas wedding remember that the couple should have that wonderfully feeling children have when the see their bulging stockings on Christmas morning. Your speech should reflect that feeling of anticipation, that belief that dreams will come true.

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