How do you describe the loss of a child? Bowed down with grief most parents find it hard to find words to describe how they feel. Yet giving a eulogy for a boy or a girl is a very fitting way to say your goodbye. In it you can express all your heartache and your sorrow. You can say how much the child meant in your life. You can pay tribute to that child and his or her importance in the family. You can mention his or her personality and traits. . A eulogy can tell of his or her favourite games or toys. You can thank those who have comforted you and shared this difficult time with you. Above all you will be paying a public tribute to your child before it is too late

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The death of a child is harrowing. When adults die we accept that such things happen. Yet when a child dies we fight against it happening because we believe that they should outlive us. Trying to give a eulogy then is doubly trying. The loss of a child is awful but finding the words to express that loss is almost impossible. Yet loving words are probably the best way to say goodbye. Talk about the joy the child brought into your life. Speak of his or her attributes and personality. Speak of the loss felt in different ways by different members of the family. Speak too of the help and support of neighbours and friends in a time of sorrow. Nothing can bring your child back but make sure your final farewell is one that says how important he or she was and how much he or she will be missed.

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The funeral of a father is a time for recollection. It is a time to remember his kindness, his support and all he has meant to you over the years. It is a day when you remember childhood games, help with your homework and encouragement with your choice of career. It is a time when you think of the stories he told, the songs he sang and the hobbies he loved. It is a time when you remember his personality and what his career meant to him. Of course he meant other things to other people. He might have been a colleague or a friend and they too will have their recollection although they will be different to yours… It’s fitting then at his funeral to give a eulogy that encompasses the wonderful person he was and what he meant in your life and in that of the family. You may speak of his strength of character. You might choose to remember his athleticism. He may have been a snazzy dresser or a keen gardener. His funeral is the last opportunity you will have to pay homage to him. Make the most of it and let the world know the kind of person he really was.

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How do you choose a speech topic? Obviously it depends on your audience. Young school children will not be interested in a speech about politics or the economy. Technical talks are only of interest to those involved in the trade or profession about which you are speaking. There are occasions too where speeches have to be specific such as at weddings or indeed funerals. Generally speaking though we can persuade, inform or motivate an audience by what we say. Most of us go on vacation so a speech on that topic will be of interest to a general audience. The common cold affects lots of us during the winter and so is an ideal subject too. Nearly all of us want to improve our lives in some way so a speech telling us how to be brilliant and unlock our potential would appeal to many. Those who are speaking in public should choose topics that are relevant and appeal to that public.

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Most of us value our friends although we may not express our appreciation of them publicly. Yet what better way to show what they mean in our lives than by telling others how important they are to us? You might, for instance, take a friend’s 50th birthday party as the ideal opportunity to say how much he or she means in your life. What about a wedding anniversary? Your toast to the couple could express how much you value them as friends. The same applies on a wedding day of course. You might express your good wishes as a friend of the family or as a friend of the bride or groom. If a friend is retiring a good friend should wish him or her well in that retirement and express the hope that their friendship with you will continue. Graduation time is yet another time when we can express our feelings for our friends. Giving a eulogy for a friend is probably the last act of friendship you can make. Whatever the occasion take the opportunity to talk about friendship and how important it is. Friends, make them and keep them by letting them and everyone else know just how important they are to you.

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Mothers really matter but how often do we tell them so? Most people buy their mother a gift on mother’s day but that is all. How much better if they expressed, publicly, their love and affection for her. Of course on Women’s Day speeches are often given in praise of women but that’s not personal enough. It applies to women generally and not to your particular mom. A mother’s 60t birthday or indeed any birthday is the ideal opportunity to say how much she means. Mothers often work hard double jobbing at home and in their careers. So when she retires is an opportune time to have a party and give a mother’s retirement speech. Both of these occasions are times when family and friends gather and she will be especially touched when you tell them what a wonderful mother she is. So don’t leave it until you are giving your mother’s eulogy. It’s fine to praise her then but it would be much better to do it when she’s alive to hear it.

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Family re-unions can be fun or fraught. They can involve only the nuclear family or a gathering of the whole clan. The reasons for them are many and varied. You may be gathering for a grandmother’s 70th birthday, a son’s confirmation or a daughter’s graduation. Weddings are often the reason for a family re-union or, saddest of all, you may be getting together for the funeral of a member of the family. At this time of the year many people are organising their Thanksgiving Day meal and arranging for as many family members as possible to come home to celebrate together. In a time of deep depression and recession you could be forgiven for thinking that there is not much to celebrate. Yet however badly we are affected by the recession we still have love and kindness in our world. We still have liberty and democracy. In fact we are blessed in many ways and it is surely a good idea now and again to give thanks for all we have received. So give thanks for those hugs and kisses. Give thanks for those beautiful grandchildren. Give thanks that you can all be together freely and without restraint. Even if you don’t believe in God the giver of these bounties give thanks to fate. A family provides us with a bulwark against the world and its sorrows. So as you sit down to your meal together, think of all the gifts you have received and give thanks.

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There is one business that isn’t too badly affected by recession. People continue to die and undertakers continue to bury or cremate them. Customers may now, of course, choose cheaper caskets or order fewer limousines in view of the changing financial situation but most people want their loved ones to have the best possible send off and do not skimp on funerals. What they often forget is the difference a good eulogy can make. At a time of stress and grief they are often too tied up in practicalities to consider how a eulogy can make that final journey memorable and even bearable… Yet strangely, when someone dies families usually spend a lot of time talking about the loved one. They remember his or her talents and skills and tell little stories about them and what he or she meant in the family circle. Friends too often talk about how they met the deceased and what an influence he or she had on their lives. So there is always plenty of material to be used by and if it is gathered and a loving eulogy written it can be the most fitting tribute you can pay to the deceased. In a way you can bring them alive so that their attributes are noted, their beliefs mentioned and the love felt for them is expressed. A good eulogy is the most fitting goodbye. You don’t forget a loved one, of course, but at a funeral make sure your public goodbye ensures others don’t either.

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What sort of speeches reflect our patriotism? It all depends on the occasion, of course, and national holidays are definitely a day for speaking about love of country. For an Irishman or woman then it would obviously be St. Patrick’s Day while an Australian would definitely express his feelings on Australia Day. There are other occasions though when patriotism is the core message in a speech. Take Flag Day, for instance, or the 4th July. On such days speakers will speak about what their country means to them in a way they wouldn’t at any other time of the year. September the 11th is a day when we express what t it means to be American in today’s dangerous world. Veterans’ Day is another day when we remember those patriots who died for their country or who fought the good fight in the cause of peace. Naturally in the military almost all speeches are patriotic in tone whether it’s a change of command speech from an outgoing army officer or a eulogy for someone who has died while serving their country. It’s hard to explain how a bit of land can make such a claim on us but certainly when someone else says something disparaging about one’s country one’s initial response is to defend it. Like family members we may criticise our own but nobody else has that privilege!

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Celebrate with a speech. Most of us would claim not to be public speakers but have you ever thought of how many times during a lifetime speeches are used by you are someone else? When a baby is born there is often a christening party or a baptismal party at which a parent or god parent speaks. In the Jewish tradition someone may speak at the Brit Milah. As children grow up their teachers will use welcome back to school speeches every year and of course there are those graduation speeches. Normally parents don’t speak at birthday parties but there are exceptions. They like to wish their daughters well when they reach sweet sixteen and of course there are also coming of age toasts. Then it’s time for those wedding speeches of all kinds and lots of people are roasted at their 50th birthdays. Retirement speeches then become a fact in your life. In between times you may speak as the incoming president of a sporting organisation or give the toast to the ladies at a social function. So you see speeches mark many occasions in our lives and of course funeral eulogies sum up those lives.

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