Speaking to children is an art in itself. It’s worth remembering that they have a very short attention span. Long words confuse them and the very best way to get their attention is to tell a story. Children love humour too so if you can make it a funny story all the better. It will really grab their attention if you make your speech interactive by asking them questions about what you have been saying or asking for comments. You might even find that their comments say it all even better than your own speech!

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“I left because they were still giving speeches an hour later” so said the guest at the opening of a new sports pavilion. Speeches can add to an occasion or totally spoil it. A social occasion is not the time for lengthy speeches. A warm welcome, a few gracious words of thanks to those who have worked hard and a sincere good luck wish for the future is usually enough. Obviously if you can add in a few topical comments so much the better. Guests are there to enjoy themselves not as a captive audience.

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When a client says “I have been asked to speak but I don’t know what to say” my immediate response is to ask about the audience. If you are speaking to engineers your topic might suitably be called, “Building bridges”. If you are speaking to miners it might be one on “Digging deep”. A general audience is more tricky but choosing a topical subject, something in the headlines means that mot of them will know what you are talking about at least. They’ll probably have a view on it too so you might want to give both sides of the argument or alternatively, make them remember you and your views with interest or even with loathing. At least though you will have made them think!

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I don’t sail and know little or nothing about boats so when the Commodore of the local yacht club asked to write a speech I was in a bit of a quandary. He explained that they were going to have a sail pass dinner and that he needed to speak at it. He confessed that no matter how many times he had to speak he still found it hard going. My imagination took flight as I remembered walking by the seashore one balmy evening recently and being entranced by the colours of the sails reflected in the water. He wanted to speak about the youngsters who were the life blood of the club. He spoke proudly of how, when a sudden squall had overturned many of the boats, the children had not panicked but had kept their wits and waited to be rescued. He had the interesting thought that their training at sea would help them deal with the squalls of life later on. With that interesting though I was soon in full flow and his speech, he told me later on, was plain sailing.

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Have you ever been asked to speak to a charity group or a group of bee-keepers? Even if you are a tax expert your speech should relate to the interests of your audience. So you might say that there is tax relief on clothes bought specifically for their work as bee-keepers or that the charity group can claim tax free status. Making it personal is the best way to keep them interested.

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Ever since I worked one summer in an engineering workshop, I have had an anathema to Meatloaf. The trouble with the hit record – starting to date myself here – was that a large ‘don’t mess with me’ biker type welder had taped the title song ‘Bat out of Hell’ end to end. He played it non-stop loudly for the entire day. Every day.

Even now (alright, some thirty years later) the intro, the chorus the whole darn lot is etched somewhere permanently into my brain. There too is the track, ‘You took the words right out of my mouth’. But here, I have to say, Meatloaf had a point.

When it comes to getting ideas across in speeches, getting other people to think they came up with the idea in the first place wins every time. Hey, it works in marriages, works too when it comes to setting ground rules for sulky adolescents (Get them to suggest the guidelines). If people think it’s their idea, they are more responsible, more cooperative and more interested in the outcome.

That’s the bit when the audience is looking up at you, nodding with their eyes and ears firmly focused on you and what you are saying..

How you do it? Well I guess it’s a bit like flattery. Appeal to their better natures, talk up to them, and yes flatter them a little bit it you have to. Get them thinking how bright smart and intelligent they are. Just don’t let on that an overweight biker in a leather jacket told you so.

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