Most of us are taught to say “Please” and “Thank you.” When it comes to dinners and functions though there are other things that should be said. Someone should welcome the guests for instance. Guest speakers need to be thanked. There might be a toast to the ladies and someone would have to reply to that toast. It’s all about etiquette as well as good manners and every function is different. The armed forces, for instance, may have a loyal toast. So if you are organising a function ensure you know what ought to be said and ensure someone says just the right thing.

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Ladies’Night means different things in different places. It can be a group of women out on the town together or it can be a formal dinner where the ladies are being honoured. Either way it is a social occasion and deserving of a toast to the ladies. What is said depends, of course, on who is speaking. It may be a gentleman who speaks of the many attributes of ladies and what they mean in men’s lives. Alternatively, it could be a speech given by a woman about the joys and perhaps problems of being a woman in today’s society. Such a speech should not be long but it should be thought provoking and light-hearted in places. It should ensure that those present actually think about ladies and how they enrich society. Ladies deserve a night out now and again and a good speech ending with a suitable toast will greatly add to the occasion. The hand that rocks the world is definitely one worth talking about.

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Most of us value our friends although we may not express our appreciation of them publicly. Yet what better way to show what they mean in our lives than by telling others how important they are to us? You might, for instance, take a friend’s 50th birthday party as the ideal opportunity to say how much he or she means in your life. What about a wedding anniversary? Your toast to the couple could express how much you value them as friends. The same applies on a wedding day of course. You might express your good wishes as a friend of the family or as a friend of the bride or groom. If a friend is retiring a good friend should wish him or her well in that retirement and express the hope that their friendship with you will continue. Graduation time is yet another time when we can express our feelings for our friends. Giving a eulogy for a friend is probably the last act of friendship you can make. Whatever the occasion take the opportunity to talk about friendship and how important it is. Friends, make them and keep them by letting them and everyone else know just how important they are to you.

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It’s a time for an ending and a beginning. It’s a time for memories and planning. It’s New Year’s Eve and, for most people, it’s time to party. Why not add to the spirit of the occasion by toasting the New Year and all it means? Speak about the past certainly. Talk about the achievements and indeed the troubles of the last year. After all the recession has hurt many people and this and other sad facts should be acknowledged. Be upbeat and optimistic though about the new one. Talk about doing better in the future. Talk about the real opportunities that lie ahead. Speak of the real values of love and faith and family. Such a toast should be relevant to everyone and capture the imagination of all those present. It should not be long because nobody wants to hear a long speech at a party. It should though, be meaningful, about life as it really is and, more importantly, how we can make it. So a New Year’s speech should be motivational in tone. It should say that we can make our tomorrows better if we try hard enough. It should challenge all those present to achieve something new and wonderful in the year that is to come. As you raise your glass in a toast to 2011 make sure that the picture you paint is one of success, health and happiness.

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Should you have a staff party this Christmas? In this time of deep recession can you afford to have one and is it appropriate to do so? These are questions many employers are grappling with just now. The answer is surely that this time more than any other you need to have a party, you need to express a vote of confidence in your business and in the future. That is not to say that it should be an extravagant party. Maybe you should forgo the fancy hotel for the office canteen or, if the numbers are small enough, even the home of the boss. You might consider having a less expensive office lunch instead of a formal dinner with guests. Maybe you might consider having a “Bring a bun” sort of party where every staff member brings a contribution of food and drink. It’s not what you eat that matters you see it’s the spirit of the occasion. That office party is a time to gather and have fun with your colleagues as friends rather than as workmates. It’s a time to reflect on work well done and to look forward to better times ahead. That’s why what the C.E.O. or manager says is so important. Whatever about the format of the party, the speech should express gratitude, encourage participation and be very motivational about the future. Hopefully, next year you’ll be able to afford the Ritz!

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Every birthday is special but some seem to be more special than others. Perhaps that’s because card manufacturers put the emphasis on one birthday over another. Alternatively, it might be something to do with our culture. Coming of age birthdays are often celebrated with a party. The same applies when a girl is sweet sixteen. 50th birthday too are often celebrated with a big bash and when it comes to 100th birthdays it’s definitely an occasion for a cake and candles. On these occasions too somebody usually gives a speech ending with a toast to the celebrant. It’s understandable that we should commemorate these milestones in a person’s life. Yet surely every birthday is a milestone and should be celebrated in the same way? A man who has lived for 49 years is as worthy of our praise and good wishes as a man who is fifty. Maybe we should surprise someone with a 64th party and tell them in a short speech just how much they mean to us. Birthdays are, you see, a time for looking back as well as looking forward. So whatever the age we are celebrating we should be looking back on the achievements of the birthday boy or girl. We should be saying how much he or she means to us. We should definitely wish the celebrant a very happy birthday. So however many candles there are on that cake make the most of the moment for sometimes that’s all that we have.

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Say it in a speech. Tell them you love them, you respect them or you admire them and give the reason why. That’s good advice for anyone who has a birthday, wedding anniversary or in fact any other special occasion coming up. Of course you may not have intended to give a speech. You may hate speaking in public. Yet by forgetting your qualms and saying a few words you can really make someone else’s day very special. So tell your parents that they have given you a very special upbringing on their silver or, in fact, any anniversary. You might not usually tell your brother that you love him but telling him how much his concern and support mean to you on could make his birthday. If it is your daughter’s Bat Mitzvah day tell her just what joy she and delight she has brought into your life. If your neighbours are leaving and you are present at a farewell party say what a pleasure it was to have such wonderful neighbours when you are wishing them well. If it’s graduation day and you are having a party tell your son or daughter how proud you are of them. You don’t have to be an orator to say these things but a few lines straight from the heart can mean so much. Express your admiration and love because we all need to feel appreciated. So go on say it in a short speech and give a memory for life.

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This is the time of the year when people struggle with speeches. That’s because November and December are months when there are lots of social occasions. A boss or C.E.O. preparing for the end of year function might be trying to find the right words to express his thanks to his staff for their hard work during a difficult year. The Chair or President of a club or association might want to say the right things at the Christmas party of that club or association. Often too a man struggles with what to say in a toast to the ladies or a lady has difficulty in finding the right things to say in her reply to such a toast. Such seasonal speeches should, of course, reflect the Christmas or Holiday period. They should emphasise the fact that it is the time of year for good cheer. A touch of nostalgia is also perfectly proper and acceptable. The speeches should emphasise how essential those present are to either the club or the company. In the case of those annual dinners the toast to the ladies should be gracious, light-hearted and appreciative while the reply should be ladylike yet can also be humorous and slightly tongue-in-cheek. In fact whatever the social occasion appreciation of those present is the keynote. So whether you are giving a vote of thanks to a speaker or toasting the guests a good speech will make them feel welcome and very important indeed. If necessary add a warm seasonal toast and you’ll find you’ve got it just right for the occasion.

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Flowers have a language of their own which might prove very useful to speechwriters. A groom’s speech, for instance, might refer to Anemones which are a symbol of unfading love. An Azalea is the Chinese symbol of womanhood and mention of it would be very fitting in a daughter’s sweet sixteenth speech. There is a story about forget me nots which says that when God gave names to the flowers this particular little one could not remember its name. God is said to have smiled and said “Forget me not” and what better flower to use in a farewell speech? A Cyclamen it is said is a symbol of Resignation and goodbye so why not mention it if you are giving a retirement speech? Both bells of Ireland and clover are supposed to bring good luck and would be ideal if used in any speech where this particular message was important. Ivy symbolises friendship and could be mentioned if you were giving a speech at your best friend’s birthday. If, alternatively, you are roasting a friend on his 50th birthday you could talk about Aniseed which symbolises Restoration of youth! Borage means Courage and would be appropriate to mention in a eulogy for someone who has suffered a long illness. Alternatively, it could be used in a speech in praise of people of courage who have won awards. Daisies stand for innocence and would make a lovely reference if a first communion speech. Whatever the occasion then choose a flower and mention it in your speech.

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Most of us attend birthday or wedding anniversary speeches at some time during the year. There is often a great sameness about these occasions. They can be personalised, however, if you give a really memorable speech. In such a speech you should bring the party boy or girl or the couple celebrating their anniversary to life. Your speech should make people say “I never knew that” or “oh I remember when that happened” It should include your audience and make them feel as though they are celebrating the years the couple spent together or the celebrant’s achievements over the years. Such a speech should be warm-hearted and loving with a touch of humour. Everyone loves to be feted and that’s exactly what you do when you give such a speech. So give your party the personal touch by talking about someone’s personality and life choices. They’ll be glad you did.

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