A Bar Mitzvah Day is a day for looking back to the past as well as looking forward to the future. It’s about tradition and family togetherness. It’s a day for prayer of course but it’s also about celebration. A Bar Mitzvah Day is a day when faith plays its part in the life of the Bar Mitzvah boy. It’s about setting standards for his future conduct. It’s a day to recall his ancestry as well as his hopes for his tomorrows. What you say to him on that day should inspire him and give him something to remember all the days of his life. So speak of how much he is loved. Speak of the lifelong support he will find amongst his own. Talk of his talents and what a difference he can make in the world. Mention your conviction that he will stick to his beliefs no matter how he may be tempted to abandon them in a materialistic world. Then toast him with a personal toast or give him your blessing on his special day.

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What do you say in church? Naturally you say your prayers but there are also occasions such as conferences where you have to say a little more. You have to welcome the congregation for instance. You have to explain why you are gathered and what you hope to achieve. You should speak of togetherness and the warmth of being gathered in Christ’s name. Whether you are a member of the clergy or not you will not be giving a homily or a sermon. Instead you will be speaking of the journey we are all taking together. Whatever the reason for the gathering you will make everyone in the congregation feel included. If there are non-churchgoers present you will explain the proceedings so that they understand what is happening and why. When Christ spoke he told simple everyday stories and what you say should be simple too.

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Confirmation Day is a big day in the life of a child. Whatever the Bishop may say is one thing but what should a parent say? That is if they believe the occasion is important enough to celebrate with a family gathering or party. Surely it is an occasion to say something that the child will remember for life? It is a time to talk of approaching adulthood and the opportunities and challenges ahead. It is a time to state publicly your love for your child and your pride in him or her. Your speech should be light-hearted as well as loving as befits his or her young age. You can choose to mention his or her well known faults in a teasing way. Above all though you should mention the importance of the day in his or her life of faith. After all that is what you are celebrating. Maybe someday he or she will give the same good advice to his or her child. End with a toast to the child or with a blessing

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Leaders do more than just lead. They also have to speak a lot. So motivational speeches are their stock in trade. They may be coaches speaking to their teams. It could be that they are spiritual leaders addressing a congregation. They might be officers in the army giving deployment speeches. In fact it is possible that they are C.E.O’s inspiring their sales staff or teachers speaking at a graduation. Whatever the occasion and whatever type of leader is in question their job is to motivate their particular audience to do something or be someone. So there speeches have to capture attention and challenge behaviour. They have to communicate their message clearly. They have to convince those listening that it IS possible, whatever it happens to be.

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Love them or loath them few of us would actually try to change our given names.  Some are given family names, others the names of film stars or sporting personalities and these can, intimately, date a child. How we get our names is something else. For Christians there is a Christening or Baptismal ceremony at which the baby is named. Jews have a Brit Milah ceremony for boys or a reading of the Torah for girls, both followed by a family celebration. For others it is simply a question of habit. They are simply named by their parents and the name sticks. Muslims have their baby naming ceremony within seven days of the birth.  Others have a childhood name and are given a more adult name later on. A Hindu pundit calculates the lucky initials for a baby according to the astrological constellation which agrees with the child’s exact moment of birth. Whether the parents are humanist or Buddhist, though, the arrival of a baby is an occasion for a family get together and a celebration. Whether they have religious beliefs or not the hope of the parents is that the new baby will be blessed all the days of his or her life. Whether that child likes his or her name is, of course, an entirely different matter.

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The Irish have been busy this week. They have had some very important guests. Firstly the Queen of England came and her visit was followed by that of The President of the United States. Naturally they were both given the traditional Irish greeting of a hundred thousand welcomes. Those welcomes started each of the visits off on a happy note. The same applies elsewhere of course. A hotel opening is the ideal time for the manager to express how important his first guests are to the business. Summer is festival time and obviously a good M.C. will make those who attend feel as though they are happily participating in the event. A pastor can make those who attend church feel welcome and at home. It all depends on how that welcome is expressed. It can sound like a jaded cliché or it can reach out to the audience and make them feel as though they are an important part of the proceedings. What you say in a welcome speech should be the verbal equivalent to outstretched arms and a welcoming hug.

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There is no parent who does not feel a lump in their throat when their child makes his or her First Holy Communion. They capture much of it on video or film of course. Nothing can, however, capture the sheer innocence and purity of the children. Many families celebrate the occasion by having a party, bringing together family and friends for the day. It adds greatly to the occasion if a parent, or perhaps God parent, speaks about the significance of the day. In such a speech they can express their love for the child and their pride in him or in her. What every speaker will say will be different of course but such a speech should contain some reference to the real meaning of the celebration. Many of us remember our own First Holy Communions as special days that stand out from the rest. So give a simple speech that the child can understand. In it express your love and pride for him or her and your hopes for the future. You will be giving a memory to cherish for life.

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Religious speeches are in a class of their own. There is a saying that a sermon should be simple enough for a five year old to understand yet deep enough for a well educated adult. Religious speeches on the other hand depend on the occasion. It might, for instance be the anniversary of a pastor. If so the speech should certainly refer to his years of service to the church and his community. Alternatively, the speech may be church welcome speeches where people are gathered for, say, a confirmation or a baptism. Naturally such a speech should be welcoming especially as many of those present may not be parishioners or indeed not share the faith of the families celebrating. Then there are welcome to church conference speeches and of course those present will share the same beliefs if not the same views. So the speech must demonstrate just what the purpose of the conference is and how much the church needs togetherness. It should always be motivational in tone. Whether it is a Baptist Ushers’ Union Banquet or the anniversary of a church or place of worship your speech should welcome those present to share in a special occasion that, hopefully, will enrich them in some way.

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Friendship, it is said, is a gift we give ourselves. If we are wise we will cherish and nurture that gift. Real friendship cannot thrive on neglect. It needs those phone calls and those meetings. A friend needs your interest and your concern. Friends need your understanding and sometimes, your disagreement. Real friends can, you see, agree to differ and what you may say honestly and openly should not affect your relationship. We meet our friends in many different ways. Some we can trace back to childhood. Others we meet through sport, night classes or in the office. We can strike up friendships at school, at college or at a party. Shared interests of course cement friendship and so being in a religious group together or on the same team will mean you have more in common. You will, therefore, have ideas to discuss and thoughts to explore. A real friend is one that stands by you when you are in trouble. If your business fails or you have to go to hospital your friends will be there to support you. A friend has a listening ear, a ready understanding and will be sympathetic to your needs. Probably the most important ingredient in a friendship is shared laughter. If you can still remember funny incidents years later your friendship will have stood the test of time. To have friends you need to be one. So if you want to have that invaluable gift in life learn about friends and how to make them and keep them.

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Get your message across- clear communications count. That applies in almost every situation in life. Whether you are the mother of a troublesome teen stating boundaries or a boss setting objectives how you explain yourself is very, very important. A general who does not explain the war plan properly can be the cause of loss of life. A teacher who does not explain mathematics clearly will have pupils who will fail their exams. A clergyman whose sermon is complicated may lose members of his flock. A public speaker who does not get the message across clearly and concisely will certainly make his audience switch off. Such a speaker must ask himself the purpose of his speech. Does he want to inform or persuade or both? What exactly is the message he is trying to get across? How much preparation has he put into making his message one that a child could understand while an adult would find that its very simplicity had a deeper meaning? A good speaker will practise and practise so that when he is speaking he can concentrate on the message rather than on the fact that he is giving a speech. He will make his sentences short and snappy. He will paint word pictures. He will learn to use the microphone properly. Above all a good speaker will speak with conviction and clarity.

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