In some countries both parents escort their daughter up the aisle to her wedding. After all they have both reared her. It should be equally acceptable then for the mother of the bride to give a wedding speech. The father of the bride is, of course, the one who usually toasts the happy couple but whether or not the father is speaking there is no reason why the bride’s mother should not speak too.
Sometimes, of course, she may be the widowed mother of the bride. If so when she is speaking she will usually be saying what her husband would have said on the occasion. Mother of the bride speeches should express what the daughter in question means to her mother. They should tell a little about her growing years and her lifestyle. They obviously include a welcome to the new groom and his family into the bride’s clan and include a suitable welcome to the guests. Depending or not on whether there is anyone else doing so they should end with a toast to the couple. If, however, the bride’s father or a relative is giving the toast she might end her speech with a blessing instead.
Weddings are emotional occasions and probably more so for the mother of the bride than anyone else. She won’t want to break down when giving her speech so it is better to make it short and somewhat light-hearted in tone. If she is a widow she may want to mention the bride’s father and how he would have been so proud of his beautiful daughter. This sentence should be short and sincere. One thing is certain, women being what they are, will have more background information on their daughters for the speech than any mere male.

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The father of the bride often agonises about the speech he is to give at his daughter’s wedding. Even those who make their living at public speaking such as actors often find the though of standing up at the wedding reception a frightening prospect. That’s understandable. They don’t want to let down their daughters before their in-laws. They may be comfortable with what they have to say at work but less sure of what they should be saying on the big day.  Add to that the fact that many such fathers have never spoken in public before and the number of frightened fathers of the bride increases hugely. The answer to their problem is, of course, to have written a good speech and to have practised it until they are comfortable with it. If they are not confident about writing their own speeches they should leave it to the experts. If they wants to write it themselves they should welcome guests, speak of their daughter’s growing  years, mention how happy they are to have  new extended families and end with a toast the happy couple They might also include a mention of their wives and give some matrimonial advice. The real secret is, of course, to personalise the speech as much as possible. Whatever they say a wedding speech should be loving and leave the bride with memories to cherish and proud of her dad.

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A Christmas wedding is very special and the speeches should be special too. All wedding speeches, of course, should say what ought to be said on the occasion. The father of the bride, for instance, welcomes guests and ends his speech with a toast to the couple. The Father of the groom will also express a welcome but this time to his new daughter-in-law. Either or both fathers will speak of their offspring’s growing years and perhaps offer a bit of matrimonial advice. The groom himself will speak of how beautiful his bride is and end his speech with a toast to the bridesmaids. His best man will reply to that toast and will usually have a few stories to tell about the groom’s behaviour over the years. Christmas wedding speeches should say all that is necessary but should also be relevant to the festive season. So if you are using a poem or a toast make sure it is a Christmas one. If you are referring to the words of a song choose a Christmas one. Couples who choose to get married at Christmas do so because they feel there is something magical about that time of year. So add your own magic with words that conveys your wedding wishes in a seasonal speech.

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Father of the bride speeches and father of the groom speeches have much in common. They are both celebrating an important occasion in their individual family’s life. Whether or not they approve of their son or daughter’s choice of spouse they will usually have accepted it by the time the wedding day comes along. In most cases, of course, they are genuinely delighted that their son or their daughter has found someone to love. Their speeches will reflect this as they welcome the newcomer into their families and speak of the love they themselves have for their own child. Above all, though, their speeches reflect the fact that a wedding day is a day of celebration and joy.

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What do you say at the wedding if you are the step-father of the bride? Obviously a lot depends on the circumstances. If you have reared the bride since she was a baby you will have as many memories to recollect as her father. Indeed you may feel you are her father. However if you married her mother later in the bride’s life your approach may have to be different. Weddings are emotional affairs and feelings are easily hurt. If her father is present you will have to be especially careful of what you say. It is better to concentrate on the bride rather than on her family background. You should speak of her marvellous qualities. You should say that you share the happiness of all present that she has found such a wonderful husband. You should talk about how much she means to you and illustrate it without detracting from how much she also means to her father. So you might speak of her wonderful personality and how much she means to the people who know her and love her. Never ever say anything that detracts from her father even if he walked out on her when she was a baby. The speech given by the step-father of the bride should, in fact, be gracious and very, very tactful.

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What makes a wedding really special? Those concerned often spend months organising everything from the dress to the flowers to the photographer. They will agonise over the guest list and worry about the band they choose to play at the reception. All these things are important, of course, but they rarely consider that the wedding speeches are equally important. The father of the bride or the father of the groom may wonder what he should say but certainly the speeches will be way down the list of important wedding “To do’s”. Yet the words of the best man or the mother of the bride can make an impact on the guests and leave the bride and groom with lovely memories. Everyone cannot write a touching speech, of course, but just as there are professional videographers there are also professional speechwriters. So if you cannot find the words to express your feelings let an expert do it for you. Nobody else will know and your son or your daughter will be delighted that you have gone to so much trouble to say what’s in your heart.

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How many times does a groom say thank you in his wedding speech? Quite often he thanks his parents, the priest, the best man, their in-laws and anyone else they can think of. There is no doubt but that he is sincere in what he is saying but it can be very boring for the guests to listen to the litany. That is not to say that he shouldn’t show appreciation of course it is merely to suggest that he should think of different ways of saying ”Thank you” in other words he should give more thought to writing a flowing speech. Some people can never write a good groom’s speech of course they simply haven’t got it in them. They have the option of approaching a friend or asking a professional for help. The wedding speeches are a central part of the day and a good one will leave a lasting memory both for the guests and for his bride. It’s strange that while grooms employ professional photographers, caterers and organists they think that they can easily write a speech themselves. That is until they try it!

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Has it ever occurred to you that you should censor your own speech? If, for instance you are the father of the bride, it behoves you to say nice things about your daughter. You might, jokingly refer to the fact that, like all fathers of teenagers, you had concerns about the length of her skirt. You should not broadcast the fact, though, that she was expelled form school for selling drugs. The same applies if you are the father of the groom. You might hate the girl your son has chosen but if you cannot find anything good to say about your new daughter–in-law you would be wiser not to speak at all.
Your speech should express your thoughts, of course, but always remember what is said cannot be unsaid. There is no point in upsetting people or making them squirm. A best man should be particularly careful because he may know stories about the groom that the groom would not care for his bride, or his parents to know. In this case discretion is definitely the better part of valour because if he tells that funny story and the bride doesn’t like it he may find that he has lost a friend or that he ends up, courtesy of the groom, with a black eye!
Your speech can be witty but it should never be hurtful and you should never make snide remarks. A good speaker is always gracious especially on social occasions. There are occasions when you speech should be hard hitting but not at a wedding. For the sake of happy ever after check what you intend saying before you say it.

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What do you say when it’s been said before? Finding the right words for a second or subsequent wedding is difficult. There are no go areas, people who mustn’t be mentioned and often, children whose feelings are fraught. The groom at a second or subsequent wedding has to be very careful indeed not to upset his new bride. Sometimes he may be a widower and sometimes he may be divorced and the words he uses have to reflect the exact situation. He may, for instance, have his deceased wife’s parents present because he has had a long and happy relationship with them. On the other hand the only reminder of his divorce may be the fact that his children are present. So it is very important that his speech is gracious and doesn’t offend anyone. It is probably wiser to ask someone who knows the background and who is very tactful to hear his speech and point out any obvious blunders before the big day.
Second wedding speeches by a friend are also subject to the same constraint. In fact it’s like walking on a minefield and you certainly don’t want to set off any explosives.
Your speech should be sincere and very general and refer to the future rather than the past. In other words it should be about wishing the couple every happiness in the years to come without referring to previous weddings or previous spouses.
More and more people are re-marrying and if you have to speak at the wedding remember to be careful about what you say. Short and sweet says it all.

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There is a saying that might have been written especially for these recessionary times. It says, “Today is the seed time, now are the hours of work, and tomorrow comes the harvest and the playtime.” Isn’t that a hopeful saying, one that makes all the doom and gloom bearable?
Most of us are willing to work hard if we feel that our hard work will be rewarded. Most of us are prepared to make sacrifices if we think those sacrifices are worthwhile. These days though we are being bombarded with messages that seem to indicate that there is no light at the end of the economic tunnel. Our Governments are dealing in harsh reality and pessimism permeates the media. They should remember that people need hope. They should remember that, if they want us to overcome this recession, they have to sell the belief that there are better times ahead. They need to resurrect that wartime spirit of endurance and grit, the pulling together of people for a common aim.
The vast majority of people don’t understand economic terms. They only understand what this recession means to them personally. Even city dwellers, though, understand the concept of sowing and reaping. Instead of talking of tough times ahead governments should be promising that we will reap what we sow and that if it’s hard work and enterprise we will be celebrating a harvest supper.

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