Has it ever occurred to you that you should censor your own speech? If, for instance you are the father of the bride, it behoves you to say nice things about your daughter. You might, jokingly refer to the fact that, like all fathers of teenagers, you had concerns about the length of her skirt. You should not broadcast the fact, though, that she was expelled form school for selling drugs. The same applies if you are the father of the groom. You might hate the girl your son has chosen but if you cannot find anything good to say about your new daughter–in-law you would be wiser not to speak at all.
Your speech should express your thoughts, of course, but always remember what is said cannot be unsaid. There is no point in upsetting people or making them squirm. A best man should be particularly careful because he may know stories about the groom that the groom would not care for his bride, or his parents to know. In this case discretion is definitely the better part of valour because if he tells that funny story and the bride doesn’t like it he may find that he has lost a friend or that he ends up, courtesy of the groom, with a black eye!
Your speech can be witty but it should never be hurtful and you should never make snide remarks. A good speaker is always gracious especially on social occasions. There are occasions when you speech should be hard hitting but not at a wedding. For the sake of happy ever after check what you intend saying before you say it.

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What do you say when it’s been said before? Finding the right words for a second or subsequent wedding is difficult. There are no go areas, people who mustn’t be mentioned and often, children whose feelings are fraught. The groom at a second or subsequent wedding has to be very careful indeed not to upset his new bride. Sometimes he may be a widower and sometimes he may be divorced and the words he uses have to reflect the exact situation. He may, for instance, have his deceased wife’s parents present because he has had a long and happy relationship with them. On the other hand the only reminder of his divorce may be the fact that his children are present. So it is very important that his speech is gracious and doesn’t offend anyone. It is probably wiser to ask someone who knows the background and who is very tactful to hear his speech and point out any obvious blunders before the big day.
Second wedding speeches by a friend are also subject to the same constraint. In fact it’s like walking on a minefield and you certainly don’t want to set off any explosives.
Your speech should be sincere and very general and refer to the future rather than the past. In other words it should be about wishing the couple every happiness in the years to come without referring to previous weddings or previous spouses.
More and more people are re-marrying and if you have to speak at the wedding remember to be careful about what you say. Short and sweet says it all.

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There is a saying that might have been written especially for these recessionary times. It says, “Today is the seed time, now are the hours of work, and tomorrow comes the harvest and the playtime.” Isn’t that a hopeful saying, one that makes all the doom and gloom bearable?
Most of us are willing to work hard if we feel that our hard work will be rewarded. Most of us are prepared to make sacrifices if we think those sacrifices are worthwhile. These days though we are being bombarded with messages that seem to indicate that there is no light at the end of the economic tunnel. Our Governments are dealing in harsh reality and pessimism permeates the media. They should remember that people need hope. They should remember that, if they want us to overcome this recession, they have to sell the belief that there are better times ahead. They need to resurrect that wartime spirit of endurance and grit, the pulling together of people for a common aim.
The vast majority of people don’t understand economic terms. They only understand what this recession means to them personally. Even city dwellers, though, understand the concept of sowing and reaping. Instead of talking of tough times ahead governments should be promising that we will reap what we sow and that if it’s hard work and enterprise we will be celebrating a harvest supper.

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Brides are traditionally, supposed to be nervous before their weddings. Few of us though give much thought to the groom and the best man who shake at the thought of giving a speech. While a wedding may have been planned and organised over the course of a year or two the speech will often be a hastily written note composed the day before the wedding itself.

That’s a shame because wedding speeches can make or mar a wedding. The flowers will die, the cake will be cut and the photos fade. If the speech is a good one the words used will be remembered and treasured for life. Say the wrong thing, though, and it will also be remembered for all the wrong reasons. So don’t make sarcastic comments about Aunt Flo’s hat or salacious ones about the groom’s ex-girlfriend!

It doesn’t matter who is speaking. The bride may choose to say a few words. A family friend may decide to have his say but whoever it is the content of the speech is critical. It is important that the speaker says what ought to be said on the occasion.

If he is the groom he is expected to say how beautiful his bride is and wonderful his parents were and how he has been welcomed into the bride’s family. He will, of course, toast the bridesmaids. His best man will respond to that toast as well as telling a few, carefully vetted stories about the groom.

The father of the bride and the father of the groom are both expected to say what their children mean to them and welcome the son or daughter-in-law into their families. They will be excused if they tell a few stories about their child’s childhood. The main theme of each speech though should be love, the love of the couple and the love of those present for that couple.

It is said that it takes hours to prepare a good impromptu speech. Certainly it takes hours to write a good speech. So consult the experts or take the time and the trouble to write and rehearse a speech that will linger in the memories of those present. Practise, practise and practise and your speech could be the highlight of the day.

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Despite Christmas it seems we haven’t forgotten our pagan roots. When the dark nights close in we try to banish them with flickering candles and festive gatherings. Winter is the time when, whatever the reason, annual dinners are held and people get together to enjoy good food and good cheer.
It isn’t always for selfish reasons. There are benevolent association dinners where workers gather to raise funds for a colleague who has hit on hard times. There are fundraisers for a children’s charity or for sufferers from an illness such as cancer or heart disease. Perhaps the organisers know that in winter we have more time to think of others and suffering seems more poignant in the dark and dreary months.
On the other hand of course there are family re-unions when families travel long distances just to meet each other and to celebrate the festive season. A Christmas wedding is special simply because besides the frills and flounces we have the sparkle and staff motivational speeches perhaps because they have a captive audience. After all most of us aren’t out playing tennis or fishing in the long dark nights of winter. Clubs and societies therefore, choose to have their parties in December or January.
So if you are invited to a dinner or a gathering make the effort, dress up and go. Our ancestors were right. Fun and laughter and good company are the best possible ways to banish the dark devils of those long cold nights.

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Tradition has it that the father of the groom is an honoured guest at a wedding.
He has no responsibilities except to be pleasant and enjoy himself. So while the father of the bride may wax lyrical about his daughter he is not expected to speak about his son. Most of them, though, like to say a few words about the boy who has now become a man.
If he is speaking the father of the groom’s speech should be short and simple and come from the heart. Basically all he has to do is to welcome the bride and her family into his.
Other than that though he may feel like telling a few tales about his son’s wayward youth and how much he has improved since his new bride has taken him in hand. He will, of course, mention her beauty and what a lovely person she is. He might like to mention how good it is to see so many family members and friends on such a special day. He will leave it to the father of the bride or the best man to toast the happy pair but he should take the opportunity to end his speech with a relevant blessing or good luck wish. The father of the groom deserves his say. After all, without him there would be no groom!

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Being a best man may be a privilege but it can also be nerve-wracking. After all sharing in the groom’s bachelor adventures does not qualify you as an M.C.
The best man is, you see, the M.C. at most weddings. Besides remembering the ring and ensuring the groom is on time he also has to see the big day runs smoothly. Added to that he is expected to give a warm and witty speech that is also sincere.
So he needs to do his homework. He needs a best man’s plan that helps him ensure that there are no hitches to mar the big day. He has to arrange transport, ensure the guests are all happy and make sure the couple make their honeymoon getaway safely. Naturally too he will look after the bridesmaids and respond to the groom’s toast to them. Above all his speech should reflect well on the groom, compliment the bride and make all the guests feel an essential part of the big occasion.
The secret then, if you want to be a superb best man, is to adapt the scouting motto of “Be prepared” and ensure that the day goes according to plan.

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Choosing a wedding gift can be difficult. Many couples choose to have a bridal registry with a big store which can, of course, ensure that you buy something they actually want.
If you have been asked to speak at the wedding, though, you can ensure that your gift of speech is very personal and will be treasured for life.
If you are the best much you will know about the groom but may not know much about his bride. So if you want your speech to be special the first thing to do is to do your homework. Naturally you will discover any story about the courtship but you must do more. Speak to the bride’s mother, sister or best friend and find out what she loves and hates. Ask for treasured memories of childhood. Speak to the groom’s people too and find out childhood stories and fantasies. Did they have invisible friends? Do they love The Beatles?  Did they have a teddy bear that went everywhere with them? Find out about their secret dreams and wishes and give a brilliant best man’s speech by painting a picture of the groom who ran away from home when he was five, insisted on eating beans at every meal and helps out at the local homeless shelter. Speak about his kindness and his wonderful sense of humour. Speak too about his parents and his family life. In other words know your subject and his bride.
Whether you are speaking as a father of the bride or as the mother of the groom ensure that your speech is personal and loving and shows the couple in a wonderful light. They will love you for it and they will remember your speech when the flowers are dead and the cake well eaten.

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Has it ever occurred to you that there are links between weddings and the seasons? A spring wedding, like the season itself is about growth and a new beginning. The flowers on the altar will probably be spring flowers such as daffodils and the day will be filled with promise.
Roses, though, are more likely to be used in a summer wedding and the photographs will probably be taken in beautiful garden settings. The sunshine will add to the occasion and everything will be bright and cheerful and happy. The couple’s joy is reflected in the summer season.
Autumn weddings are more likely to be windswept occasions. The bridesmaids may be wearing the colours of autumn and the wedding bower may be decorated with golden leaves. The smell of chrysanthemums will fill the church and the wedding photographs may show a veil blowing in the wind… Like the harvest itself the wedding will reflect the bounty of nature and promise fulfilled.
Winter brides often choose Christmas weddings and such weddings are likely to feature furry capes and ice cold diamonds. The bride’s bouquet may include rich berries and the wedding location is likely to be decorated with traditional holly and ivy. It’s appropriate that the season of caring and sharing should be the one chosen to celebrate marriage which is ultimately about loving one another.

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Most of us love our parents but how many of us express that love? Yet your father’s birthday, your step-mother’s birthday or your mother’s retirement are ideal days on which to say a few loving words. In fact any family occasion such as a family re-union gives you an opportunity to express your feelings for them. Weddings, of course, being the sentimental occasions they are, are the ideal time to thank them for all they have done for you. So whether you are the groom or the bride make it their big day too by expressing how much they mean to you. This also applies of course if you are the best man who is son of the groom or indeed the son of the bride. Finally, if you have not told them you love them before they die a thoughtful eulogy for mother or appreciative eulogy for father will be a fitting tribute to well loved parents.

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