Tradition has it that the father of the groom is an honoured guest at a wedding.
He has no responsibilities except to be pleasant and enjoy himself. So while the father of the bride may wax lyrical about his daughter he is not expected to speak about his son. Most of them, though, like to say a few words about the boy who has now become a man.
If he is speaking the father of the groom’s speech should be short and simple and come from the heart. Basically all he has to do is to welcome the bride and her family into his.
Other than that though he may feel like telling a few tales about his son’s wayward youth and how much he has improved since his new bride has taken him in hand. He will, of course, mention her beauty and what a lovely person she is. He might like to mention how good it is to see so many family members and friends on such a special day. He will leave it to the father of the bride or the best man to toast the happy pair but he should take the opportunity to end his speech with a relevant blessing or good luck wish. The father of the groom deserves his say. After all, without him there would be no groom!

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Choosing a wedding gift can be difficult. Many couples choose to have a bridal registry with a big store which can, of course, ensure that you buy something they actually want.
If you have been asked to speak at the wedding, though, you can ensure that your gift of speech is very personal and will be treasured for life.
If you are the best much you will know about the groom but may not know much about his bride. So if you want your speech to be special the first thing to do is to do your homework. Naturally you will discover any story about the courtship but you must do more. Speak to the bride’s mother, sister or best friend and find out what she loves and hates. Ask for treasured memories of childhood. Speak to the groom’s people too and find out childhood stories and fantasies. Did they have invisible friends? Do they love The Beatles?  Did they have a teddy bear that went everywhere with them? Find out about their secret dreams and wishes and give a brilliant best man’s speech by painting a picture of the groom who ran away from home when he was five, insisted on eating beans at every meal and helps out at the local homeless shelter. Speak about his kindness and his wonderful sense of humour. Speak too about his parents and his family life. In other words know your subject and his bride.
Whether you are speaking as a father of the bride or as the mother of the groom ensure that your speech is personal and loving and shows the couple in a wonderful light. They will love you for it and they will remember your speech when the flowers are dead and the cake well eaten.

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Not everyone has a formal wedding and not everyone has formal wedding speeches. Some couples want a more casual approach and invite only close friends or peers to their wedding. Their speeches may be more light-hearted than say a speech by the father of the bride. Nonetheless a good friend will want the couple to have an enjoyable day and they will know them well enough to be able to speak from the heart. Being of the same age group they will usually have shared experiences to recall and might jokingly speak of a vacation spent together or of shared events on a college campus. Nonetheless the peer of the bride or the peer of the groom should, whatever incidents he or she may recall, still express that age old sentiments of wishing the couple every happiness. After all that’s what friends do.

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A wedding speech should express the same sentiments whether it’s a formal function being held in the Ritz or a family affair in the bride or the groom’s home. At a more formal function the father of the bride, the father of the groom and the best man usually speak. At a more informal wedding, however, a brother of the bride or her bridesmaid may speak or even a friend of the family. The speeches should emphasise the good wishes of those present for the happy couple and express the belief that they are ideally suited to one another. The speaker should mention an incident about the bride or groom which would personalise the speech. Above all the speech should be light-hearted and sincere. A wedding, whatever its size, is a happy occasion and the wedding speech or toast should emphasise that.

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Weddings are as different as the people who marry. The same applies to wedding speeches and toasts. Nonetheless there are some sentiments that are common to all. The father of the bride will usually be proud of his daughter and wish her happiness.

The mother of the bride naturally feels the same. Their speeches will show their connection with and rearing of the bride. If a father is not speaking the task is the uncle of the bride or some other relative. Such a speech will be loving but will not have the intimate touches of a father or mother’s speech. Most of these speeches end with a traditional toast but it, of course, nicer if you can have a different one or end with say, an Irish toast. The toast is, after all the last thing said to the couple so it is appropriate that it should be meaningful and memorable and reflect your wishes for them..

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Save us all from those best men and father’s of the bride who see their speech as the one chance they will have in their lifetime to perform under the spotlight for hours.

You might have noticed something about life stories or biographies. They tend to be the biggest fattest most long winded books on the shelves. The outward signs are the reams of paper that the father of the bride is editing and flicking through. They might be the best man secreting a box of tricks, props and puppets under the wedding table in preparation. These people are missing a calling in their lives. They need taking out and trampling on. Now is the time to head for the bar.

The best wedding speeches are short, to the point, gentle, humorous, (You’ll already know if you are a born joke teller, and now is not the time to experiment), genuine, sincere and end with an affectionate toast to the couple. Anything else is a bore that will leave guest squirming in their seats straining their necks towards the exit.

Check out our sample speeches