Weddings don’t usually happen overnight. It usually takes months for a bride to select her wedding gown. The wedding cake takes months to mature. The flowers take a season to grow. Why then do speakers leave writing their speeches to the last minute? Whether you are the best man, father of the bride, father of the groom or even the groom himself you should give yourself plenty of time to write that all important speech. After all a best man, for instance, will need plenty of ammunition if he is to fire a salvo at the groom. The fathers of both the bride and groom will usually need to consult those oracles, their wives, for details of their daughter or son as children so that they can give speeches with the “Aah” factor The groom himself is usually so nervous that he cannot think straight at all and will need all the time and help he can get. A good speech is all about preparation and doing your research is part of that. Researching the family trees of the couple takes time. So if you have a wedding speech to write start early. Make it as professional as possible but of course you must sound as though you are speaking straight from the heart.

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Wedding speeches can sometimes make or break the day. A good speech will be the cause of animated conversation and loving words will be remembered over the years. A bad speech will cause negative vibrations and even hurt feelings. Quite simply a bad speech can ruin the day. This is true of any wedding. A Christmas wedding, however, calls for even more thought. The speechwriter must bring the spirit of Christmas into his speech. It should reflect the warmth and joy of the season. A couple who choose a Christmas wedding do so for a special reason. A good speaker will discover what that reason happens to be and mention it in his speech. Often it is because it is the couple’s favourite time of the year. The speaker might then compare marriage with the season of loving and giving. That is not to say that a Christmas wedding speech should not be traditional. After all the best man should always mention, usually humorously, his connection with the groom. The father of the bride will end his speech with a toast to the happy couple. Perhaps, though, the speechwriter will include a reference to Santa or the Christmas tree or, appropriately of course, the mistletoe. It is always an added plus to have a topical mention in a speech. So if you are speaking at a Christmas wedding remember that the couple should have that wonderfully feeling children have when the see their bulging stockings on Christmas morning. Your speech should reflect that feeling of anticipation, that belief that dreams will come true.

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The royal wedding will be slightly different in some ways. For one thing it will cost a lot more than most weddings. The television cameras of the world will be there too to capture every moment. But what will be said in private? Father of the groom Prince Charles will probably say a few words at the reception. He’s quite used to speaking in public but this being a sentimental occasion will he get a frog in his throat as he remembers the mother of the groom? The father of the bride will surely find the occasion a bit more nerve wracking. After all he will not be used to addressing the crowned heads of Europe. Nonetheless like most fathers he will probably want to say how much he loves his daughter and how proud he is of her. Like all weddings too it will be expected that the best man will make a memorable and witty speech and if Prince Harry is best man he will have plenty of ammunition to fire a few salvos at his brother. There is no doubt but that speakers at this wedding will have any help they need to prepare their speeches. After all this wedding will be history in the making. However it is expressed though the sentiments will be those of any other wedding. You see whether for royalty or commoner wedding speeches are about family, commitment and love.

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How do you add warmth to a speech? That’s a challenge for most public speakers. It does not mean, for instance, that you have to speak about hellfire and damnation. Nor does it mean speaking about a blazing sun. It is all about making your audience feel involved and part of the process. If you are an M.C. for instance, your opening remarks speech should be genuinely welcoming and a light-hearted comment about some topical event should make people laugh and there is no warmer sound than people laughing together. If you are the father of the bride your expressed love for your daughter should give that warm feeling to the audience who will understand and appreciate how much she means to you. In a eulogy, of course, the appreciative way you speak about the deceased and what he or she meant in your life should reflect the warmth of your feeling for that person. Basically it’s about involvement. It’s about your audience feeling at one with you about whatever the topic or the reason for the speech happens to be. It’s about getting them to understand how you feel and to share that feeling with you. It means making you speech easy to understand, interesting to the listener and relevant to their lives. In other words it’s the same sort of feeling you get when you meet someone with whom you feel an immediate rapport.

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Sometimes there are occasions when we wish we could speak a foreign language. Nowhere is this more important than when you wish to give a speech or a toast. You might, for instance, be at a wedding in Italy or at a wedding anniversary in the Netherlands. You could happen to be attending a birthday party in Germany or a business conference in France or Portugal. Whatever the occasion it would certainly add to it if you could express your feelings in one of those European languages. Of course many people find it hard to write a speech even in English and have to consult the experts. Alternatively, they may simply be too busy to spend time writing a speech. It is certainly an added bonus for them if they know that they can find different translations of those speeches online. Such a speaker might not feel comfortable giving the whole speech in a foreign language but might like to use certain sentences or paragraphs saying something in English and then repeating it in his or her chosen tongue. The father of the bride might, for instance, warmly welcome his guests at the beginning of the speech in both languages and end by giving the toast to the couple in two languages. The Boss or the C.E.O. at the Christmas Office Party might like to thank his staff in English and another tongue and wish them a happy Christmas in both languages at the end of his speech. In this way a mixed audience will feel included and the speaker will find that his or her efforts are greatly appreciated. All he or she has to do then is to find someone who can teach him or her correct pronunciation of that foreign tongue!

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There is a long run up to most weddings. It begins with organising an engagement party, followed by the bridal shower and the bachelor or stag party. In between times there are venues to be selected, dresses to choose and cakes to be baked. Most people organise these things well in advance except for one thing that is often left to the last moment and that is the writing of the wedding speeches. Whether you need a speech for a wedding rehearsal dinner or the actual wedding day you should remember to write it early so that you can practise it before the big occasion. That applies whether you are one of the wedding party such as best man or father of the bride or whether you are a family friend who wishes to toast the parents of the bride or groom. Take, for example, Christmas weddings. It’s only about two months to Christmas and a Christmas wedding is particularly special and deserves a suitably festive speech. So make sure your speech is particularly relevant to that wonderful season. You can do that by, for instance, making a reference to Santa or to the mistletoe. Whether your daughter or son is getting married, whether you are the best man or even the groom, make sure your speech is seasonal.

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Share your beliefs. That’s something every good speechwriter should do. If your daughter is sweet sixteen or you are speaking as the father of the bride you should share your belief that she is special in every way. If, as a student, you feel exams should be abolished you should share that belief too. Your classmates will undoubtedly agree with you whatever about your teachers. If you feel persistence, patience and passion are the secrets of success you should be able to convince others of the fact too. Every speaker who stands up in public should have a belief that he or she wants to share. If you think that euthanasia is murder not mercy convince others with your arguments. If you believe that soccer is the beautiful game tell the world about it. Even when you are speaking at a birthday party your belief that the birthday boy or girl deserves praise and good luck wishes should come across in your toast. If you are talking at a baptism your belief in the importance of the sacrament should feature in what you say. If you don’t have such a belief, don’t speak.

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Flowers have a language of their own which might prove very useful to speechwriters. A groom’s speech, for instance, might refer to Anemones which are a symbol of unfading love. An Azalea is the Chinese symbol of womanhood and mention of it would be very fitting in a daughter’s sweet sixteenth speech. There is a story about forget me nots which says that when God gave names to the flowers this particular little one could not remember its name. God is said to have smiled and said “Forget me not” and what better flower to use in a farewell speech? A Cyclamen it is said is a symbol of Resignation and goodbye so why not mention it if you are giving a retirement speech? Both bells of Ireland and clover are supposed to bring good luck and would be ideal if used in any speech where this particular message was important. Ivy symbolises friendship and could be mentioned if you were giving a speech at your best friend’s birthday. If, alternatively, you are roasting a friend on his 50th birthday you could talk about Aniseed which symbolises Restoration of youth! Borage means Courage and would be appropriate to mention in a eulogy for someone who has suffered a long illness. Alternatively, it could be used in a speech in praise of people of courage who have won awards. Daisies stand for innocence and would make a lovely reference if a first communion speech. Whatever the occasion then choose a flower and mention it in your speech.

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Being on a stage preparing to give a speech is a bit like being the goalie facing a penalty shot. It’s a lonely place. You have no support; you are on your own. It’s no wonder that people dread the thought of giving a speech. You don’t have to feel so bad though. Unlike that goalie who has to save whatever shot is kicked at him you are in control of your own speech. If you prepare it well and practice it you will feel more confident. Obviously that goalkeeper is well used to his net. A public speaker should be equally well used to wherever he is about to speak. So it pays to visit the spot before you have to give the speech. It pays too to have a practise run making sure, for instance, that the microphone is working. He or she would be wise to ensure that the sound carries to the end of the room or the hall in question. Wearing the right clothes will also boost confidence. If you are addressing a formal gathering, for instance, men should wear a dress suit while a woman should wear something glamorous as befits the occasion. Have your notes on cards that you can hold comfortably in one hand and remember to take some deep breathes before you start speaking. Whether you are the father of the bride or giving a eulogy for a mother you have the advantage over that goalie. He cannot guarantee that he can stop the ball going into the net. With practise and a good speech you can be sure of being calm, cool and collected and there is no doubt but that you’ll have that audience enthralled.

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Just imagine how many speeches are being written all over the world every day. Executives are writing staff motivational speeches or thank you client appreciation speeches. In every country there is a father of the bride struggling to write those loving words he wants to say at the wedding. Teachers are trying to produce words of wisdom for those graduation speeches. Fundraisers are writing words that they hope will encourage people to support a good cause. Members of Toastmasters are trying to find words that will make their fellow members sit up and take notice. Rhetoric students are trying to write outlines of their speeches while bereaved families are trying to find words to commemorate the life of a loved one. Then there are the Birthday and Bar mitzvah speeches as well as ones for communions and confirmations. When you think about it a lot of effort goes into writing all those different speeches. If you touch a heart or make a memory then that effort will not have been in vain.

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